#i fall in love with women even more everyday guys

[kisses4kuna]

ideal relationship dynamic

[lilacstro]

★this might be the night that my dreams might let me know, all the stars are closer"★. pac: what to expect next in life

hey guys! long time no see! I wanted to post this pac on new years but I just....didn't.

anyways, I hope you enjoy this one. drop suggestions in the ask box!

PS: I saw 9 of cups in all of the piles, and this tells me maybe all the collective together is going to have a wish fulfillment soon! that's so sweet haha

support me on ko-fi

Paid readings open

₊˚ʚ Pile 1 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: some of you here might be quitting something. There is a "bid adieu" kind of energy here. There also seems to be a throat chakra blockage, maybe you are unable to speak, maybe due to throat issues, cold, flu or even could be engaging in frequent arguments. An advice for you regardless is taking time to think before you speak. Some of you here might also be having trauma resurface. There could be trust/confidence issues as well. Some of you here might also be going through third eye activation. There may also be trouble in engaging things you want to, making time and space for things. You may be having nightmares or such kind of thoughts stemming from past, your family lineage or even trauma.

what's next: for some of you here, who were leaving something, or someone behind, good call, it is the right thing to do. I am hearing "everything that has ever been lost will always be replaced by something better". There would be a lot of options making themselves available to you. You have divine luck, divine protection. One more thing that is coming through is that a fake relationship would fall off, especially if it is with a women. Some of you may also have a change of personality, going from a "I'm a boss bitch" types to going into more serene energy, more calm and collected. Mind you, I do not mean to say there's anything wrong with either :) For those of you who want it, there are options in love coming through as well. For some of you, you may as well have many options in love, think clearly though because one of them may end up being your true love. There would be a lot of emotional healing coming through. For those of you who have been "used" to feeling numb, your heart would open again, just use your thinking and think clearly, please. One of your heartfelt wishes, one you had a lot of attachment to may be coming true as well. It is also possible to hear an apology from someone, especially if they are a water sign.

₊˚ʚ Pile 2 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: while shuffling these cards I had a feeling of "money" being important to this group. Either you gained money, lost it, are investing it or maybe you are planning to make a significant purchase. Pile 3 maybe important as well. Some of you may also be in a mental hole. Feeling trapped or burdened by something. Someone here could have also gone through a hardship in romantic connection, a heartbreak or could have seen the options they anticipated not work out, making a wrong choice. Some of you here might also be struggling with making changes in your day to day life, which can be as big as moving countries or as small as working out everyday. Holding on to ideas, people, memories or routines you know you should let go of.

what's next: I see a wonderful opportunity for financial gains presenting itself to you. You may be afraid or nervous to take it, but go after it, Pile 2. Do not get confused though. Apart from this you may also see new bonds being strengthening with friends and people you meet, more confidence and charisma. You'd appear attractive and reliable, and if you are someone who is anxious socially or likes being alone, you would come out of the shell and enjoy life, enjoy people. For people who are going through a breakup, especially, getting over this person may be the best thing to do. It may take a while, but there is wonderful things awaiting you. If you can subscribe to this description of this person being extremely manipulative with their words, it's even more of a confirmation. For others of you, do not sabotage things coming to you. If its love, luck, money, travel. A wish is about to come true but maybe not exactly how you thought it would. For example, money may come in form of an idea, meeting someone important may come in form of having this feeling of going to that place or saying hi to that person etc. So do not sabotage your blessings by being in a warzone mentally always :)

₊˚ʚ Pile 3 ₊˚ʚ

current energy: Some of you here may be working out a lot. Listening to motivational music. Some of you might also be growing more towards calmer things and ideas, maybe yoga, spiritual retreats in mountains etc. I get why there was a connection between pile 2 and 3, because yet again there seems to be a feeling of being deceived in love, or feeling as if the wish came true but it was a façade. Some of you might also have received a promotion at work, or may have been taking too much workload, maybe even creating an imbalance. There could be arguments on this. Some of you may have "severed ties" with something, maybe a habit, an idea, or a person, but regardless it seems for the best. Birds may be important. I would say watch out for people who try to appear "way too sweet" and try to get under your skin the meanwhile. There could have been a connection which was off balance, especially the masculine energy which could've led to the spiritual awakening of the feminine energy.

what's next: There seems to be a LOT of things that seem to be coming for you pile 3. Before I type next, I heard "revolution starts within", makes sense since I am seeing a lot of reversals in your reading. You need to step out of your mind and body for a while, or atleast strike a balance to be able to experience the real world. "You are not running out of time" is one another message I heard. You will find your spark again, very very soon. Being full of energy, exciting things in life, that once felt dull and lifeless. A period of stagnation is ending. You would be given a way to live this exciting time, but you have to act on it yourself. "Do not be afraid of judgement or being cringey" Maybe you wanted to start a venture, an account, YouTube, do it! Because there is indeed some change coming into your career and financial situation which is divine. A wish is about to come true. Do not "force" change or your energy levels on yourself, let it take time. There is a lot of healing happening for you, especially if you were hurt by someone or something in the past. Things are about to get soo good. Spring after a winter.

[temptaetions]

angel eyes 🪽 b.cc (m)

a/n: the photo above is from stray kids' skz magic school shoot. i don’t own the media. i clearly got carried away writing this, because it's so long. however, i hope you guys enjoy it. obviously none of this is real...so does accuracy matter?

✩ spellbound secrets series m.list

✩ synopsis: you’ll think you’re in paradise, and one day you’ll find out he wears a disguise, don’t look too deep…

✩ genre: idiots to lovers | love epiphany au | teacher x student

✩ pairing: ??? b.cc x fem!compassion conjurer!reader

✩ word count: 21.6k | lowercase intended.

✩ rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.

✩ warning(s): quite a few time skips. minor character death, mentions of a car accident, semi descriptive. y/n has a scar across her body (not self inflicted, how it was inflicted is not described), both y/n and chan have unresolved issues with love, chan's kind of a dick in the beginning. swearing, mutual pining, alcohol consumption, brief mentions of blood, y/n has a medical episode, once more horribly written smut [between b.cc x reader: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!!), creampie, oral (f. receiving...he starts eating it thru the panties LOL), so much kissing, some (nude) grinding, missionary (because i'm an emotional bitch), light nipple play (clothed), crying during sex, multiple orgasms, reader begs a lot, some biting, light choking (m. receiving), a bit of alluding to sex as 'extra credit' and subtly feeding the professor x student power dynamic]. (more information about y/n: she glows, kind of like a glowstick, and she can float around instead of walking.)

✩ what to listen to: angel eyes - abba | the chain - fleetwood mac | bodyache - purity ache | if it isn't love - new edition | cherish the day - sade

tuesday – november 02.

it's slow, the fall. it feels like liebesträume.

feeling lost is an understatement. 

he's been lost before - in grocery stores, not understanding assignments. shit, he's even been lost in the woods before. he knows what it's like to be lost, physically. he knows what it's like to not know what his emotions mean, either, so that also counts in his book.

but this? this feeling that he's just wandering the world? not knowing where his purpose lies, or what he's meant to be doing with said unrealized purpose? this is a feeling of damn near disorientation, isolation, off fucking course. it's all the same anyway. everything is the same, nearly everyday.

he wakes up, brushes his teeth. greets changbin and hyunjin at the table for breakfast, and gets ready for the day. goes to class, daydreams. he comes home, has lunch with jisung sometimes, and goes to the gym with changbin at seven-thirty. every few fridays, he'll go to one of the university baseball games, cheering on seungmin and jisung while sharing nachos with his ex-fling, sooyoung, and her best friend (who so happened to be seungmin's former girlfriend.) then, he's home again, he showers, he sleeps for a few hours.

every. single. day.

he gets bored, but reminds himself he needs to find peace in the routine. it's all he knows – he doesn't know what's keeping him here, but he's aware it's something. everyone knows it's something, but have no answers for him. he's sought after so many master sorcerers across all dimensions, begging to find an end to his equation, but to no avail.

he has no idea who he is, or what purpose he serves, and he pretends he's okay with it. he soothes by saying that not all can be known.

he pretends it's fine as he goes through his days, as he goes to class, as he talks to girls. he doesn't feel much of anything when he does these things, but the women he speaks to certainly do. they grin from ear to ear, like cheshire cats, when they get a moment to speak to the uncertainty that is bang chan.

but, it's fine. he's fine, it's really not a big deal.

he's in his last year of grad school, hoping to just bury himself in his studies to stop the feeling of impending doom. normally, you open up shop right after undergrad. you offer your services, barter for goods, sometimes get paid in a goat and two chickens instead of money. so many of his friends have already done so, relishing in the satisfaction that is being a sorcerer and mastering their craft. 

what the fuck is he supposed to do? study until his fingers fall off and his brain becomes putty?

"i dunno, man. you could become a genius." jisung spoke around a mouthful of blueberries, and chan grimaced. "what? i'm bulking up!" shaking his head, chan closed his notebook. shoving it into his bookbag, he sighs. "i don't think i want to know everything there is to know, ji."

"doesn't knowing everything you need to know, start with knowing yourself?" minho teases from across the table, winking at jisung over his coffee cup. the younger boy nearly chokes, getting a whack across the back to aid in not seeing god. "don't flirt with him, he'll have an aneurysm." "hey!" jisung sputters, but the three of them know it's true. how jisung was the campus' playboy, no one would ever know. chan didn't even know if jisung could read when they first met. "you know it's true, ji. i gotta head out, i have a night class this semester with professor y/l/n, i finally got my schedule fixed. changbin is going to hate me because i'm going to miss the gym every tuesday and thursday." chan groans as he swings his bag over his shoulder, and the two men watch as he slides his headphones on, walking out of the library.

he's insufferable lately, and they don't know why. they assume he needs to kiss someone, preferably sooner rather than later.

"you think the poor guy knows what he's in for?" minho mumbles, closing his textbook. jisung shakes his head, popping another blueberry in his mouth. "i hear she's ruthless. i mean, if i was an anomalistic prodigy with gorgeous thighs like hers, i would be, too." "shut up, you can't even kill spiders."

your classroom is surprisingly cozy as he strolls in. the lights are dimmed, and there are blankets draped across many chairs. he looks around, spotting a green couch in the back. raising his eyebrows, he makes a beeline for it, hearing other people start to trickle in.

setting up his laptop on the table before him, he lets his eyes wander.

the walls are plastered with entomology posters, and he scrunches his nose as he sees a taxidermied praying mantis on your desk. he remembers what you said in your speech at your commencement ceremony – "the people of ancient greece and egypt saw the praying mantis as a guide. a guide for those who needed direction, and my god, have i needed it. life truly does go on and i am further amazed by how deeply it fills me with joy to stand here before you. the people of ancient greece and egypt saw the praying mantis as a guide, and i am so honored to be the mantis that prays for you."

you were the university's little treat, their trophy to parade. their only compassion conjurer and possessor of the will to practice benevolent magic. you cared of nothing more but to help those around you, you never said no. you never denied yourself to be utilized to find peace. he admired you, but not really. it was twisted, but he thinks you should…help yourself. he believes you should be selfish, at least once in a while.

he didn't really know you, but he hadn't expected to, either. you seemed like you were constantly on the go. you floated about, sort of like a ghost. your hands often clasped behind your back, a warm golden glow surrounding you. he'd heard from some people that they've seen it change color, but he never has.

but again, he didn't know you.

"chan!"

the voice whips him out of his thoughts, and he looks up to see yugyeom. he smiles, reaching his hand out for a dap from his oldest friend. "hey! how have you been? still on the baseball team?" "nah, i quit after i started dating doyeon. apparently, she has quite the track record with the team." he whistles, pulling out his laptop as he slides on the couch. "you quit the team for a girl?" chan questions, and yugyeom gives him a shy smile.

"she's not just any girl, chan. i think…she could be the one." he shrugs, a blush coating his cheeks as chan bumps his shoulder. "aww, that's so gross."

"shut up. what happened with you and sooyoung? did you guys break it off?" yugyeom takes a sip of his water, and chan nods as he sees more people walk in and take their seats. "yeah, we stopped fucking around. i wasn't as emotionally invested as she was, and i felt awful for it but we ended on good terms. i'm just not ready for a relationship and i should have made that clear. that was months ago, though, and we're fine." he shrugs, and feels an odd shiver down his spine. he shakes it off, continuing the casual conversation with yugyeom.

the door opens, and they both stop talking to look up. you're floating in gracefully, dark hair framing your face, a few scattered gold strands sprouting at the crown of your head. a bit like a halo, really. long, wine red nails reach for the light switch, dimming the lights even lower.

"good evening, everyone. eyes up front, please." your voice is softer than at your ceremony, but just as confident. you're looking around, your glow dimming lightly as your eyes stop in his direction. chan's eyes flicker to yugyeom, who is smiling at his phone, thumbs typing rapid fire. shaking his head, he looks up at you, your gaze on yugyeom. chan bumps his foot, and his head shoots up. your eyes are slightly amused, "you're paying for this class. i suggest you pay attention." "sorry." he slides his phone in his jacket, and chan bites back a laugh as he clicks his pen. smiling, you redirect your attention. "welcome to identity theory! i'm professor y/l/n, but you guys can call me y/n. you might already know me, as i'm the university's only compassion conjurer, and that is exactly why i'm teaching this class." you hold up the syllabus, and begin walking around to pass them out.

"this is an extension course to the one you took in undergrad, self-discovery 101. here, we are going to further delve into ourselves, and figure out who we are outside of our powers, or what purpose they serve. i like to focus on eudaimonic theory, but if you guys have any others you want to talk about, i'm open for discussion. i also want to apologize for starting the class so late in the year. i promise the workload isn't much, i was just having a hard time deciding if i wanted to teach this class. i wouldn't be doing much soul searching with you guys, i'm already the trophy wife of the administration."

he likes your voice. it's smooth, unwavering even as you apologize and joke, even as you let your feet touch the ground. he feels his chest grow hot as you graze everyone's table with your fingers, a soft chatter beginning amongst the students. he's not nervous, but you're very commanding. he likes the way you grab attention, despite it now seemingly about to be directed to someone in the room.

"your eyes are very pretty." you stop in front of him, and the class grows quiet. you look down at him, the soft light around you a little brighter. he feels his cheeks flush, as he nods in confusion. "do they glow brighter the more i make you nervous?" you tease, and he looks away.

"cute." you slide his syllabus in front of him, and he takes it with a soft thank you.

his eyes were the only thing that gave him that something that people always mentioned. they swirled, every now and again, the brown glowing slightly violet at their own will. nobody knew what it was, but it seemed to take your interest. you move forward with the lecture, not even attempting to hide the subtle boredom in your voice as you go over the syllabus.

"i will see you all on thursday! have a safe night!" you cheer, and the students seem to bask in your happiness as you let them out of the room. you float about, and catch chan at the tail end of the gaggle of students. "you, pretty eyes."

his headphones are in the way, and you place your hand on his arm. his skin is warm to the touch, and he jumps at the contact before turning around, sliding them off. "oh, i'm sorry. did you need me?" "i just wanted to say, i hope my teasing didn't make you uncomfortable. sometimes it just slips out." you smile, and you notice one..two dimples make their presence on his cheeks. "don't worry, it's alright. is that all?" "no, actually." you hold up his file, and he seems to know exactly what's coming. "i don't know my abilities, if that's what you're going to ask. and i won't answer any questions about my parents, that's also in there."

his eyes hold something heavy, and you notice your glow dim as he speaks. if he does, he doesn't mention it. "alright, then i guess that's it. i'm sorry if i disturbed some emotional blockage." your brows furrow lightly, and he raises his own.

"whatever." he mumbles, and slides his headphones back on. he walks away, and you feel your lips tug into a frown. you wonder what his problem is as you walk back into your classroom, sliding the file into your desk drawer.

"you try and make a classroom a home." 

thursday – november 12.

from: yln.yn@spellbound.edu

hello, chan. this is professor y/l/n. i noticed you didn't show up to class last thursday, tuesday, or tonight.

i took it upon myself to look into your file again, with permission from the administration. i want to apologize for the sudden hot seat on tuesday after class, i was unaware of your situation and just wanted some insight. i can see how this made you uncomfortable, and i am sorry for causing said discomfort. i want you to be able to enjoy my class, and hopefully we can traverse that journey together.

that being said, i have come up with a new assignment for you, for the time being. since you don't really know what your specialties are, i can't grade based on performance or any papers delving into how they affect your life, personality, etc.

below is the rubric designed for this assignment. i spoke to the administration, and they're on board with this approach. if anything is too much, please don't hesitate to send me an email, or a text. my number is also below. have a good weekend!

signed,

y/n y/l/n

identity theory

spellbound institute of magic

psychology department

555-8212

he's been staring at this email for the last half hour. he even let hyunjin read over it, asking if he was seeing shit.

he'd skipped your class on thursday, and today. he didn't want to see you, so he avoided the psych hall altogether. he didn't really know how to feel as he switched tabs to the rubric you'd sent, essentially just saying you wanted an essay on how he's been coping with not being sure of his path in life.

how does he feel about it? does it bother him, and if he could pick, which abilities would he pick? his brain says the ability to never see you again, but his heart pangs as he rereads the postscript at the bottom of your email.

p.s. i am once again very sorry. i hope to see you in class on thursday, channie. - y/n

channie. ugh, his heart ached. he'd been so rude.

"you're thinking too hard." changbin sings from the living room, and chan sighs. "how would you know? you can't read minds." he rolls his eyes, shutting his laptop. changbin walks into the dining room, leaning over the back of a chair. "i know that look. the furrowed brows, the pout. you're thinking way too hard about this, and it was an honest mistake on your professor's part. you need to apologize, you grumpy bitch." "yeah, i don't really think it's a huge deal, either." hyunjin chimes in from the kitchen, and chan frowns. "you guys think i'm being overdramatic?" "i think your emotional repression is getting to you, you've been so insufferable lately. when's the last time you got laid?" hyunjin teases as he slides into a chair, and changbin wiggles his brows in agreement. "ugh, don't even." chan slumps his head against the wall. maybe seven months? he has a lot of pent up frustration. maybe not enough to write about his feelings and how annoyed it made him that you were digging into his life this early into him meeting you. what did you need to know, anyway? "isn't your professor that compassion conjurer paradigm? i heard the speech she gave at the convention last year, and i saw the photos. she's gorgeous, that glow around her all the time?" changbin whistles smoothly, and chan's stomach does a flip. he also saw the photos, but couldn't bring himself to think anything of them. he barely remembers watching your speech, too, but he certainly remembers the way your hips swayed as you walked off the stage.

he grimaces, feeling a bit gross at ogling you.

"she's fine." he shrugs, and changbin gives hyunjin a knowing look. "so, she's hot and you're into her. that's why she has you so worked up."

"i beg your finest fucking pardon, seo?" chan blinks, and hyunjin smirks. "then beg, channie. i'm sure professor y/l/n would like it if you did, she seems like the type. get on some dating apps, man. you need stress relief." chan scoffs, shoving his laptop into his backpack. "i'll be in my room, if you decide to stop talking about romancing my professor."

hyunjin and changbin snicker as chan storms off, his door slamming behind him as he flops onto his bed. sure, you were…okay. okay, you're hot. you're so fucking hot.

but, he doesn't like you. he doesn't like that you put him on the spot, and he doesn't like that you intended to ask so many personal questions right off the bat. he also doesn't like that his roommates are probably right – he probably is angry because he needs to get laid.

he groans into his pillow, fishing his phone out of his pocket. he unlocks it, opening the stupid app. "spellbound soulmates, how dumb." he mutters, unpausing his profile. he goes through it, updating photos and prompts. once he's satisfied, he goes to his deck.

left. left. left. left. right. right. left. left.

y/n, 26

compassion conjurer, benevolence magic

biography: sexy as fuck by day, sexy psych prof by night. everything you've heard is true.

interests: if your ass is phat, swipe right 🥵

his eyes widen, your smiling face staring back at him. scrolling through your profile, he sees mostly modest photos – you holding a tray of shots being the most scandalous. not a sliver of skin showing above your waist, but plenty of short skirts showing off your full thighs. you're smiling in every photo, but he can't think of anything except your lips parted, your thighs around his head. moaning his name.

alright, chris. he thinks. chill the fuck out.

he contemplates it for a bit, scrolling up and down your profile when he just shakes his head, closing the app and tossing his phone to the side. he flips onto his back, letting the pillow close around his ears.

he hates to admit it, because he doesn't know you. he doesn't dislike you, per say. but he's not very fond of your subtle insistence.

it's not necessarily your fault, but he really doesn't like talking about his family, especially his parents. only his friends know, and even then, it took all of four years to even bring it up. the fact that they're humans is a huge deal, and he can't risk their safety like that.

not to mention, admissions begged him to keep it a secret. they were toeing the line, chan being the third person in the university's history to have human parents. they knew about the world of magic, but didn't really have the abilities to take care of chan the way it was necessary.

so they didn't. they sent him to boarding school from a young age, and made it a point to frequently visit him. he sees them at least four times a year, but it's never enough time. he feels like he's missing a place to call home. 

he feels so alone.

it's not your fault. and he knows he needs to apologize. he just has too much pride right now.

he hears a knock, and changbin opens the door. "hey, what are you doing? i'm going to the gym, want to come with?" chan sighs, before forcing himself out of bed.

tuesday – november 17.

he's sitting on your couch today.

legs spread, hair tucked under a cap. black, like the rest of his clothes. he looks relaxed, his fingers dancing across his laptop as yugyeom shows him something on his phone. he just nods, and you can't make out what his lips say. 

you'd been feeling terrible about the events of last week, and hadn't gotten so much as an email from him. not about the assignment, not about how he clearly hates you, or even addressing your apology. you didn't understand him, but you don't know him, either.

the past three classes, you'd gotten to know your students. minnie, soyeon and shuhua were your favorite (and only) group, giggling in the corner over their laptops. they were all herbomancers, and you could tell simply based on how giggly they were. they chatted, and last thursday, shuhua was so high she just sat against her chair and stared into the abyss. you found it a little funny, when soyeon and minnie would have to drag her out of your class.

mingyu was a constant flirt, and you attributed it to his matchmaking expertise. he was one of the few cupidancers on campus, and you'd seen him about before. he had the ability to entrance people, to get them high off his attention, and you often saw girls with hearts in their eyes after speaking to him. it was quite the sight, to see someone emotionally orgasm. the fact that you were his professor didn't stop him from smiling at you, making suggestive comments, overall trying to weasel into your heart. you simply played his game, making him flustered.

yugyeom was too enthralled with his phone, and his girlfriend, to complete the assignments. the fact that minnie had slid eighty dollars his way told you his spirit weaving ways were some for the books – and so did minnie – as she rambled about a party at beta tau that past weekend. "you should come sometime, y/n. you'd get so wasted but it'd be so worth it."

you liked that they felt so at ease with you, speaking to you like you were nothing special. you liked being their age, being able to relate to the crazy parties and not worry about how you'd get home the morning after. you enjoyed the intimacy of the small class, but not the coldness surrounding who you would deem your most intriguing student.

he just sits there and he looks so nice. the slope of his neck, the way his fingers bounce on the keys of his laptop. the sheen of his lips from the cherry lip balm he applies three or four times over the two hours of your class. the way your hue almost changes from gold to pink from staring at him, and you know you catch some of their eyes as it tries.

"why do you glow, y/n?" you can hear minnie's hazy voice from the back of the room, and you feel yourself a bit dimmer than usual as you fight down the feelings of lust. "i actually don't know. the master sorcerers never told me, but i know it can be several different colors. care to ask me what they mean?" you wiggle your brows, and minnie giggles.

"pink means you're turned on, huh?" mingyu calls from his seat between shuhua and soyeon, earning a smack from both of them. you chuckle as he pouts, "what? i hooked up with a compassion conjurer last year in the second dimension, forgive me for assuming." "i thought you were bitchless, gyu? what a nice surprise, loverboy." shuhua teases, and mingyu just rolls his eyes. "well, he's not wrong."

their heads whip back to you, and you're purposely glowing gold. you're glad they don't make it weird, their eyes full of glee. "i know those sex flashbacks gotta be good, y/n." minnie giggles, and sighs dreamily. "i once got one in undergrad during the ochem final. i ran out of time and failed."

you laugh, floating closer to their table. "the colors mean a lot of things. i can also change them at will, if one isn't overpowering the other. the hues and brightness also amplify how i feel, which makes it really hard to hide any of my thoughts. for example," you pause, closing your eyes. you feel the warmth of blue overtake you, and hear a soft ooh. 

opening your eyes, you give a quick spin. "blue means i'm sad, disappointed, or at ease. i rarely get this one, it usually happens when i'm with my closest friends and can act on impulse."

the quartet looks amazed as you continue to change colors, explaining them slowly.

green, for envy, and disgust. you also rarely turn this color, and it is amongst the most dim that you've ever been. pink, for lust. you say it's your favorite color, but not your favorite feeling. orange for anger, and you recall that you only turned this color when in your mother's presence, and that you hated this one. silver, for remembrance and emptiness, and they don't require an explanation as the light grows brighter, your face deepening in sadness before you shake your head.

you exhale, before letting the cold of indigo overtake you. they gasp, and you feel shivers rack your body before you can finally speak.

"this is the only one i don't understand. i can make it seem darker, too." you say calmly, eyeing the dimness of it. it glowed almost like a blacklight, and at your will, it turned a deep violet, lining your extremities in black pixels. "have you ever felt it before?" soyeon pops a piece of gum in her mouth, offering a piece to you. taking one gently, you shrug as you unwrap it.

"nope. this one feels cold, though. the others feel warmer, like a blanket. this is like, sub-zero temperatures." you slide the piece into your mouth, feeling your golden glow return as you speak. "that's so cool, though. thank you for sharing." shuhua is gazing at you, fondness riddled in her eyes. you feel your cheeks heat, as you smile.

"my pleasure. class is over in twenty minutes, so wrap up whatever it is you're doing and i might let you guys dip out early." you nod at them, floating in the direction of yugyeom and chan. looking up from your gum wrapper, you see chan looking at you intently, his eyes slightly swirling with that same violet glow from tuesday.

"hey, pretty eyes. so kind of you to grace us with your presence today." your teasing makes him grimace, a hint of annoyance flashing through his eyes. "paying for the class, might as well pay attention." he mutters, echoing the first words you said to yugyeom.

your brows furrow at his attitude, and you watch yugyeom slip away, beckoned by minnie with a piece of pink paper. chan glances at you, closing his laptop and shoving it in his bag with indignance. "why are you acting like this? i already apologized." you feel your glow flash orange, before feeling the soft tinge of blue creeping up your back. his eyes are still violet, but they've softened. "i'm just trying to help you, chan."

"i don't think you can help, when you're part of the problem." he mumbles, his gaze never moving from your eyes. you sense blue creeping up your neck, and succumb to it, letting it blaze. "how disappointing, for a teacher to try and aid you in finding your path of life." your annoyance is visible as you spin, directing your attention to the gaggle of students watching your interaction. soyeon's eyes are wide as you dismiss them, asking them to please let the door close instead of leaving it propped open.

the words aren't even out of your mouth when you hear the door slam, yugyeom pitiful eyes confirming your thoughts. they begin to stand up, heading for the door when yugyeom splits from them, circling back to you.

"don't worry about chan. he's being a dick, it's not your fault." he places a hand on your shoulder, and you give him a sad smile. "i know, yug. i know."

a soft squeeze to your shoulder and he's gone, you're alone in your room. you sigh deeply, letting the most overwhelming hue of all take over.

the same dark red you felt all those years ago, letting it overwhelm you entirely. you sink into your desk chair, letting the soft burn of grief sink into your skin. you can close your eyes and still see it, the wine color in front of you. the one that matches your nails, and on occasion, your lipstick. the one that makes you ache the most, and yearn for those who are no longer here.

you miss him.

just like you miss chan's wide eyes, not having heard the creak of the wooden door in your turmoil. he slips away.

— ☆ — — ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —

later that night, you're sitting in your bathtub, letting the hot water relax your muscles. you hear your phone ping, and you reach for it.

from: bangchan@spellbound.edu

hello, professor y/l/n. i have read your email a few times since it was sent.

i accept your apology. i also accept this assignment, and will submit it as my final project grade, as per the rubric allows.

that being said, i will not be in class on thursday due to a prior commitment. feel free to email me back with any questions you may have, only those regarding the assignment will be answered.

signed,

bang christopher chan

spellbound institute of magic

general magic

you glare at the email, and let orange flicker like the light of your limoncello candle. you made no effort to question it, simply letting it slide. you send back an automated reply, sounds good! have a good weekend.

thursday – november 19.

chan hated meeting his parents in secret.

like it were a crime, to want to see them. he hated acting like it didn’t bother him that his siblings were growing up and he didn’t know them, he didn’t know what they liked, or what they did for fun. he felt so left out of everything, but still framed the photos they sent him. he still tucked their letters in a box for safe keeping, he still yearned to be loved by them.

not that they didn’t love him, but obviously it’s hard to do so from a distance. so they sit in the middle of the forest that surrounds the university, exactly 50 miles from all civilization. they sit there, for hours, and catch up.

“any luck yet?” his father peers at chan over a steaming plate of food, and he shakes his head. “no answers yet. if i don’t find out before the end of the semester, the master sorcerers said they’d figure something out.”

his mother sighs, her spoon stirring the canteen that held her warm coffee. "it'll be alright soon, channie. have you focused on other things? maybe find a nice girl to settle down with?" his father watches as chan visibly tenses, before pulling his wife close. "jagi, maybe that's for another time." she grimaces.

"i disagree. if he's having issues with other parts of his life, he needs to put it on the back burner for a second and figure out other parts. when you can't find a piece of a puzzle, you pick another part to focus on, do you not? the goal of life is to not let one bad thing, or one disappointing moment deter you from finding the answer to your qualms." she rolls her eyes, earning a smile from her husband.

"okay, she has a point." his father relents, and chan just shakes his head. "i'm not ready for a relationship.' "what about that girl, sooyoung?" his mother won't back down and he knows that. "moving on from my love life, i'm content. i'm fine with things, i have my friends, i have my studies. i'll get an answer eventually." he shrugs, trying not to let it show how much it gets to him.

"chan." she slides her arm across the picnic table, grasping his hand gently. "you're not happy. you can't possibly be, with all the turmoil you feel. you're like an angsty teenager who has never stepped outside his room." "yeah, well. life goes on." he mutters, and she feels her heart sink as he pulls his hand away, checking the time on his watch. "i think i'd better start heading back. i have an early day tomorrow." he's lying. they know it, but they begrudgingly allow him to bid them goodbye. they watch him 

walk to his car, and flash his hi-beams as a final farewell before pulling off.

thursday - november 26.

it's been about a month since chan started taking your class. 

and it's been about a month since he's been able to say a single word to you without the same tone of indignance on the tip of his tongue. seeing him look indifferent in the back of your classroom made it all the better, though, because at least now he was in class. he didn't speak to you unless you spoke to him first, but he was on time and attentive.

you liked something about him, but you didn't really know what. it's quite possible you just have a little lustful wishing for him, but it felt…weird. it felt strange, you could practically feel your skin on fire every time you glanced at him, catching his eyes every once in a while. he never held the gaze for longer than a few seconds. 

as for his violet eyes, you hadn't seen them since. you saw him smile with yugyeom. you've heard him laugh, the sound so sweet to your ears. you hated that your glow was so evident when his giggle resounded in the classroom.

you thought nobody noticed, the students didn't treat you any differently than their own friends. soyeon, minnie and shuhua made it a point to start inviting you out to drinks, and mingyu flirted with you relentlessly. you simply took the interactions in stride, and smiled politely as you kept the lectures going.

but tonight? chan wasn't in class (again) so you didn't have anyone to fawn over. mingyu was front and center, and the girls gathered around him as they conspired amongst themselves. they weren't very secretive, and you could hear them giggling as you floated over.

"what's the joke? i want to laugh, too." you teased with a soft smile, and mingyu flashed you his pearly whites before turning his phone at you.

message from: doyeon

[9:03pm] hey mingyu! tell yug i'm waiting for him at the party, and bring the girls with you!

[9:04pm] see if you can convince your professor to come, too 👀 i've seen her and she's hot! maybe she can take eunwoo off our hands, i'm sick of him moping over jisoo

you chuckle, your glow brightening a bit. "you guys want me to go to a party, at a frat house, on a school night?" shuhua nods her head, a giggle falling from her lips. "c'mon, y/n! live a little, there's going to be so many cute boys there." 

"yeah, y/n! plus, a little bird told me a certain purple eyed boy will be there." minnie wiggles her brows at you, and you smirk. "yeah? chan skipped my class for a party?" you glance at his empty spot on the couch, your glow dimming.

"c'mon, y/n. we all know you have the hots for him." mingyu says matter-of-factly, and you laugh. "i do not! he doesn't even speak in class, i don't know anything about him." you shrug, and mingyu smirks. "i've seen the way you look at him!" minnie chimes in, and you shake your head. "so what if you don't? he's hot and you're into that. he has nice muscles, i've seen him at the gym." mingyu sounds like he's trying to convince you, and you give him a smile before patting his shoulder. his cheeks tinge as you whisper, "are they as nice as yours?" soyeon teases mingyu as you float away, and their words stay with you as the class continues for another forty minutes. you type away at your desk as you bid them goodbye, but don't miss minnie sneaking away from her group to hand you a piece of pink paper.

"the address, in case you do want to see chan tonight." she slides it across the desk, a shy smile playing on her lips as she walks away. you glance at it, grimacing at the beta tau seal.

you sigh, pulling your phone to map the walk there from your apartment, receiving a text from your friend, jihyo.

message from: jihyo <3

[9:55pm] hey, you! come with me to a party, i want to scout for booty tonight 👀 i heard beta tau is having one

message to: jihyo <3

[9:57pm] funnily enough, i was about to text you, i got an invite. captain booty reporting for duty 🫡 wear something hot!

— ☆ — — ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —— ☆ —

the party was already in full swing when you and jihyo arrived, pinkies linked. it was apparently a student's birthday party, a short stop on the baseball team. you didn't keep up with the university's sports, but managed to snag a piece of birthday cake in a cup (meaning you dumped the rest of the pink whitney into your cup, and a splash of lemonade) as you let jihyo roam.

"y/n, you made it! you look so hot." you hear minnie from behind you, and you swirl to see her holding onto mingyu. "hey, guys! sick party, my friend jihyo also wanted to come." you shrug, taking a sip from your cup, and minnie gives you a knowing smile.

"hey, don't worry about it. lover boy hasn't kissed anyone since he's been here." minnie moves her head in the direction behind you, and you twist to see chan holding a red solo cup and talking to another student, short with wire rimmed glasses, and a waist you could only dream of. you turn back to minnie, who just winks at you before pulling mingyu away with her.

your body twists to look at chan, trailing your eyes down his figure. he's got on a white muscle tee, and mingyu had not been lying about his body at all. his chest donned what seems to be a rosary, nestled between his pecs that bounced lightly as he laughed. a sliver of his lower stomach was visible, mostly covered by a jacket he likely took off, but the red on the lapels looked good against his skin. silver hoops looped through his lobes and if you didn't sink your teeth into him soon, you were going to combust.

you don't have a crush on chan. not in the slightest. but, you're not blind.

you decided to worm your way to the bathroom, but you didn't realize his friend had spotted you staring. nor that chan's eyes were on you now, wondering what you were doing at a party on a school night, in that short black skirt and soft, flimsy blouse – with no bra. his eyes roll, asking himself why you manage to torture him this way. your coat is long, and covers most of your thighs as you walk away. he winces at the twitch of his cock against his pants.

"professor! what are you doing here!" you hear yugyeom shout from across the room, eliciting a woo from all the people at the party. you smile, and hold up your cup. "hey, yug!"

he waves you over, and you oblige, downing the rest of your drink. "here, try this! i made it." he holds up a long, brown bottle – and you smirk, letting him pour it into your mouth. a bunch of students are watching you down this burning liquor without a second thought, a low whistle emitting from one in particular.

tall, handsome. nicely chiseled face, hair slicked back. barely dressed. slutty.

not chan.

"who invited the trophy wife of the administration? that was hot as fuck." he leans on soyeon, who huffs and shoves him off. "shut up, san."

minnie screams before you can answer. "i invited her! she's cool as fuck, drinks up and tits out for professor y/l/n! wooo!" the crowd that had formed around you took their drinks, a few girls flashing their breasts at you. you let a laugh rip through you when you spot jihyo smiling at you in the crowd before knocking back the rest of her drink. you point to the hallway, signaling you're going to continue your way to a bathroom, before you suffocate on the smell of buchanan's and cheap beer.

the house gets quieter the deeper you go, aside from soft moans coming from a linen closet, obscene wet noises making you shiver as you turn left, finding a clean bathroom. you leave the door slightly ajar as you splash cool water on your cheeks. you let it drip through your lashes before you grab for the toilet roll, only to see someone slip into the bathroom in the mirror. 

"hey." chan's voice is low as you pat the toilet paper on your face, and you glance at him. "hey. skipped my class for a party, huh?" "what are you doing here?" he doesn't sound upset, moreso amused. his eyes shamelessly rake up your legs, and you give a snort in reply. "minnie invited me, and my friend jihyo wanted to scope out some ass." 

"yeah?" his eyes flicker to yours in the mirror, the violet swirl evident, and you feel your thighs clench in his gaze. your glow starts to change hues, and you roll your eyes as you glow pink instead of your normal yellow. "yeah. why, channie? are you here looking for babes?" you turn, letting the liquor talk as you lean against the sink.

"would it bother you if i was?" he tilts his head, sort of like a lost puppy. you smirk, shaking your head. "why would it bother me if my student wants to get some?" "do you always play this little game with your students, professor?" he takes a step closer, and you curse yourself for glowing a little brighter, but shrug as nonchalantly as you can. "beats being uptight like professor callaghan."

"god, you're so right." he chuckles, before his hands cage you in between his body and the sink. "i bet this glow thing gets really annoying, huh?" "you have no idea." you look up into his eyes, subconsciously tucking your bottom lip under your teeth. you wonder why he’s not questioning the color change, maybe he just knows, maybe he was listening last week. you wonder how many girls he’s gotten with, and how many he’s romanced with those angel eyes of his. "you look good." he says gently, almost as if he's giving you an out. almost as if, he's nervous.

"i taste good, too." you mumble, ghosting your lips over his. you can feel your skin start to singe, but you let him kiss you anyway. you let him lift you onto the sink, parting your legs to stand between them. you let him run his hands up your plush thighs, leaning into the kiss as deep as you can without completely absorbing him.

“can’t you get in trouble for this?” chan doesn’t really care, to be honest. you can tell he doesn’t as he drags his lips down your neck, his fingers tugging your skirt up gently. “hmm, no. not me, anyway. trophy wife of the administration privileges.” 

he laughs against your skin, and you give him a cheeky smile as he kisses your lips again, his thumbs gently working circles into your hips. “i don’t want to do this here. let’s find a room, yeah?” "mmm, i don't think so. students who don't participate in class don't get extra credit." you pout, patting his chest when your phone buzzes in your pocket.

message from: jihyo <3

[11:47pm] saw you dip with cutie, so i cozied up to that mingyu guy

[11:48pm] going back to his, u can get home safe?

[11:49pm] i'll turn around if u can't. bros before hoes 💪🏻

message to: jihyo <3

[11:51pm] go ahead <3 txt me deets l8r he's a massive flirt lol

you slide it back into your pocket, and chan's hands leave your skin. he quietly moves your skirt back into place, and his eyes flicker to meet yours. he doesn't look upset at your rejection, moreso a bit grateful. "you're cute. you ask too many questions, and i'm still upset with you, but you're incredibly cute."

it's just the liquor talking. he won't remember any of this, or change his behavior by tuesday. he seems to hold grudges, but you know it's really just emotional blockage. nothing you can't help with, but everything he won't let you help with.

"maybe come to class and i might let you cum in me. you'd like that, wouldn't you?" you mumble against his lips, a shiver going through his spine. "let me walk you home." he murmurs, nuzzling his nose against yours. you feel your stomach flip, the gesture so cute you just might let him sleep with you. you capture his lips again, sliding your hand up his chest, fingers softly wrapped at the base of his neck. his hand catches your wrist, sliding it higher.

you give it a soft squeeze as you slither your tongue into his mouth, drawing a soft groan from him. he pulls back, your lips chasing after him as he raises an eyebrow. "who's needy now, huh?" "shut up, let's go." you place a peck to his cheek, and you force your glow back to gold, albeit dimmer than normal. he has his hand on the small of your back as you exit the bathroom. he slides it around your waist, his fingers softly digging into your hip before he stops dead in his tracks. "what?"

you're whispering as you follow his eyes, seeing a blond guy in a baseball jersey staring back at him as he sneaks out of the closet you passed. a girl is gripping his hand, floating behind him. the guy turns on his heels, quickly weaving his way through the people crowding the hall, the girl giving a hazy smile as he drags her through.

"in a closet? really?" he shakes his head, and you feel his hand squeeze your waist. "sorry." "no worries. could've been us if you showed up to class." you tease as he guides you through the crowd, and you spot minnie watching you sneak your way through the people. she wiggles her eyebrows, and you just shake your head as chan opens the front door, letting you out first as he grabs his jacket from his friend.

"shit, it's colder than a witch's tits out here." you chatter, and chan quickly joins you on the porch, sliding the jacket over his arms. "it really is. which way do you live?" the walk is quiet, besides the leaves crunching under your shoes. he's close enough that his cologne meets your nose, but not close enough to where you can touch him and not be overdoing it. the taste of his lips was not enough to satiate you.

"why are you so mean to me?" you ask, not daring to look at him. he hums in response, before grabbing your shoulders, swinging his arm over you. you instinctively wrap your own around his waist, your fingers brushing the same sliver of skin you'd eyed earlier that night. you're burning up against him, and he welcomes the heat as your hips bump.

"i'm normally not this uptight." he starts, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "i don't like answering questions about my personal life, much less my abilities. or lack thereof, rather. it was too soon when you asked, i'm still trying to figure myself out. i'm very lost in that area of my life, and if i don't find out soon, i'm not sure how i'll make a living. please don't think i'm only this way with you, i'm just feeling stuck. it's like i'm running out of time." you take in his words, nodding silently. you know your magic is taking over him as he speaks, because you feel your glow dimming more and more as you keep walking. "i don't know what that feels like, chan. i'm sorry, genuinely. i truly do want you to understand that i am here to help as much as i can, not just as a professor but as…a friend, i guess." "mmh, i don't think you can help." he squeezes your arm gently as you make a left turn. "i'm too far gone, i believe. i thought about what you said, the emotional blockage thing. and i know that you're using your fingers to seep your funky little magic into me so i talk about myself and get things moving for your peace of mind." his fingers pat yours lingering on his hip, and you sheepishly go to move them.

he holds them in place, as you guide him to the gate of your complex. "i don't mind talking to you, or answering your questions. i really, really admire you as a person and sorceress. the selflessness, you're one of the kindest people i've ever had the pleasure of meeting. you just have to give me some time to warm up to you."

he stops in front of the gate, letting you punch in the code before sliding his arm off your shoulders. "i want to apologize for my behavior. i know i've been increasingly bitchy and standoffish, i'm just stressed. i'm sorry, and i'm sorry for taking it out on you. i know you're just trying to help."

"won't you come in? it's rather late and i'd hate to have you walk back alone." your eyes are slightly pleading, and he raises a brow. "are you sure?" 

you shrug, holding the gate open. he walks past you, not comfortable enough to slide his arm over you once more. he feels the warmth of you as you float past, and he follows quietly. unlocking the door, his eyes peer into your apartment, and it's just like your classroom. 

the lights are dimmed, and your couch is the same velvety green. it smells like bambinella pear and bergamot, and your walls are littered with photos and articles. many of them penned by you, he notices, as he skims them. "feel at home?" you chuckle, and he hears the rustling of your coat as you slip it off.

"mhm, it smells nice in here." he nods as he continues observing articles, before bumping into your side table. he looks down and sees a newspaper from seven years ago, a smiling face staring back at him.

spellbound prodigy involved in an automobile accident puts the world of wizardry at risk.

he skims the paper, seeing your name repeated over and over again but yet, no mention of the person in the photo. no age, no name.

"oh, you found that?" you're behind him, and you take hold of the paper, letting it droop over your hands. "who is that?" you sigh, your fingernail tracing the man's face. "minhwi. he was my best friend from primary school until the summer of 2017. that's when the accident happened." setting the paper back down, you pat the picture before floating to the kitchen, your golden glow gone as it begins to turn dark red.

"it's grief, the hue." you wave your hand at yourself as chan leans against the island, his eyes softening as you pour water in a glass, sliding it to him. the color dims as you turn to him, sitting on the bar stool. "i know, you're wondering how i'm involved in the accident."

chan looks down, and you let out an airy chuckle. "god, i hate talking about this." you rub your thighs, before looking up. "he told me he was in love with someone, and i encouraged him to make the hour drive to see her. i even offered to tag along, even though it was into the human world."

you're nervous, and chan can feel it. he rounds the island, sliding onto the stool beside you. you twist to face him as he takes your hands in his. how cute, you think.

"there was a really bad thunderstorm, but minhwi literally used to race cars for money. rain or shine, he was an expert behind the wheel. he won so many, and i was there for almost all of them. he called me his biggest cheerleader." chan's thumb wipes at your face, and you hadn't even known you were crying. you feel your chest ache as his hand lingers, before dropping back to your lap. "lightning struck one of the oak trees lining the backway route into town. minhwi tried to swerve out of the way, and we wound up spinning out. the tree landed on the car, and the weight crushed us, and there was glass everywhere. he died on impact."

you sniffle, and chan's eyes are glossy as he clears his throat. "and you blame yourself?" "absolutely." nodding, you interlace your fingers with chan's. "and the fact that i survived and he didn't, it kills me inside. it's not like he would've been able to, he was a…" you trail off, and chan's eyes match yours in size.

"...he was human." he finished, and you can't look at him. "you exposed the world of magic and our practices, to a human." you stay silent, before his arms envelope you in a hug. the burn you feel is almost debilitating, but you feel blue crawling up your neck as he rubs your back softly. "i'm sorry for your loss, y/n."

"that's it?" you blurt, and he laughs against your neck like he did earlier. "yeah, it's not like i can judge you, and it's not like humans don't know we exist. we're just frowned upon, it's not a crime to involve yourself with them. love makes us do crazy things." he pulls back, and you let blue overtake you. "i'm genuinely sorry about your friend. he sounds like he was a great time." "he was. i haven't talked about him since. all i have left is the scars from the accident." you shrug, taking a sip of your water. "scars?"

you flash a smile at him, before shaking your head. "just know, if i ever do let you in my pants, the shirt stays on, not because i'm insecure but because i hate looking at them."

he nods, a shy look crossing his eyes before he closes them. "can i ask you for a favor? before you go to bed, i mean?" "sure, anything." you tuck your hair behind your ears, sitting up. "that emotional blockage you spoke about, you can…remove that, right? i'm not too sure what your powers are." he mumbles as he picks at his nails, and you smile. "i can. would you like me to do that for you?" his eyes look to yours, and you see fear flash through them. "it doesn't hurt, channie. come on, i can do it right now." you slide off the stool, holding your hand out to him. he takes your hand, but instead of following you, he pulls you towards him.

your chest is flush to his, and you see a subtle blush on his cheeks as he dips his head, lips brushing against yours. you relax in his hold, letting your lips mold against his. you can't feel anything but heat and his tongue teasing yours, but it's no big deal (you're trying to convince yourself at this point.) his hands move to hold your face, his fingers burning your skin when he pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours.

"not tonight, i don't think i'm ready." he whispers against your lips, and you open your eyes to look into his hazy ones. nodding, you press another chaste kiss on his mouth. "whenever you're ready, channie. i'll be here."

"i'll take the couch." he plants one last kiss on your forehead, and you nod. "if you insist. goodnight, channie." "goodnight, y/n." he watches your glowing form trail down the hall, likely towards your bedroom.

and he sees a hint of indigo spreading across your back as you shut the door behind you.

tuesday – december 15.

chan is a lot nicer as the next two weeks go by. still shows up to class, even early, since your escapade after the party. he finds himself staring at you more often than not, and you're not the only one who notices.

minnie often slips you knowing looks, and you find yourself growing shy as you look to see chan peeking at you over his laptop, eyes glowing that bright violet you've come to adore.

"alright, everybody. have a good weekend!" you smile cheerfully as they file out, your glow now bright blue. the girls had mentioned you looked much more relaxed these days, and you attributed it to 'more sleep.'

you didn't really know what it was. you'd woken up glowing indigo the day after the party, and almost everyday after that. you flickered indigo when you caught chan in the hallway before class on tuesday, and when he hung back a little too long on thursday. really, if you even glanced at chan, you'd flash the dark color and leave the students rubbing at their eyes.

chan, on the other hand, was constantly looking for ways to talk to you.

he saw the flustered flickering, the confusion of your body as it glitched from hue to hue. at one point you had splotches of indigo, pink and your natural gold all over you. you still flirted back at mingyu's advances, albeit he calmed down noticeably. he observed that mingyu was on his phone more often, and you later found out through minnie that he was utterly romanced by jihyo. you thought it funny, and teased him about it (and jihyo, the next time you saw her for coffee and pastries.)

"hey, can we talk?" chan is standing behind you as you wave off your students, and you jump at the closeness. "sure, channie. what's up? is this about your final project?"

it wasn't an unreasonable question. the semester was coming to an end, the students looked visibly stressed and you hadn't heard of any parties since.

but, you knew it was unreasonable for your situation with chan. you never missed his longing glances at your lips, or the fact that he was early to class. his friends changbin and jisung often trailed behind him as he walked to class, and he only introduced you to them because they wouldn't stop badgering him at the doorway. "she's even prettier up close," jisung had said dreamily, and you just gave him a soft smile as you watched him bump into the doorframe.

"not really? maybe." he rubs his neck, and you tilt your head. "what's going on?" 

"uh, i think i'm ready. for what we talked about…the night of the party." he swallows thickly, and you feel taken aback. "oh? what brought this on?" you float to the back, patting the same couch he sits in during class. you tuck your legs under you, holding your head up with the wall. his knees brush yours as he sits, and you wince at the heat you feel in your chest.

"i started the essay you assigned last night." he can't look at you, and you find your stomach to grow increasingly tight. "yeah?" "i can't write anything. i have six drafts already, and i feel so overwhelmed." he's nibbling on his lip, almost as though not to cry. you lean closer, his eyes glassy as they meet yours. frowning, your hand finds home on his jaw, your thumb wiping a few fallen tears. "i'm here, i can help. we can do it here." 

you get up, moving the tables back towards the walls. he watches you as you move, and your back is splotched with indigo. he still doesn't know what it means, but you shiver as it creeps up your neck. your hand flies to your nape, rubbing your skin. it dissipates, returning to your golden glow.

"need an open space. are you sure?" you motion for him to join you in the center of the room, and he nods. you can already feel the same heat on your skin as he settles in front of you, and the same eerie cold of indigo on your shoulders. you huff, sliding your cardigan onto the floor and rolling up your sleeves. "i have to touch your skin for this, okay? and don't worry about anything else, just keep your eyes on me." he's nervous as he lets you take his shaky hands, a soft pout on your lips as you close your eyes. "i got you, okay? i won't let anything hurt you, you're strong." you're muttering, but he finds comfort in your words. he's sure you say this to everybody.

until you start glowing a blinding blaze of indigo, your face scrunched, wincing as the room cools significantly. you're brighter than he's ever seen, possibly brighter than the fluorescent lights that line the university halls. your grimace grows as you furrow your brows deeply, the glow around you seemingly like a flame. he just watches silently as you drop one of his hands.

"can you lift your shirt for me?" your voice is strangled. your eyes are screwed shut, and he quickly does so, your hand trembling as it makes contact. your skin feels like it's on fire, and you don't know what's happening that you can only hear ringing. you'd never felt anything this intensely, but you persist as your hand palms around his torso, before reaching the center. you splay your fingers, pressing into his skin. 

you flash green for a second, so quick he almost misses it.

sliding your hand up his chest, you find the base of his throat. a sigh slips through your lips, and you pull him closer. placing his hand on your waist before moving yours in his hair. you flash slightly pink as he slips his other hand on your hip, his fingers digging into your skin. 

"this might feel a little cold." you murmur, and you dim entirely. the glow around you is now gone, a soft grey floating off you. it runs to the floor, like sand, and forms different grainy figures. kind of like…sandcastles. you open your eyes, despite the damn near inferno heat where your skin meets his.

"these are all your blockages." you pull his shirt down, and move his hands from your hips. to your right, is a grainy woman that splits into several more women. next to her, are two figures, who seem to disappear into another figure, a forest. you skirt around him, holding him in place with a hand on his hip. behind him, is another figure.

shaped kind of like you. your thighs, your arms, your hair.

"what…do they mean?" you're snapped out of your process by his voice, and you sigh. "this one…channie, you have to find better coping mechanisms. sleeping with women for stress relief is not good for you. i know it feels good, but there are other things you can do. ever tried puzzles?"

you sink to the floor, pulling him with you. you move the figures next to each other in front of you, the sand-like texture sticking to your skin. gesturing to the women, you keep talking.

"casual sex is awful, when you compare it to relationship sex. shit, even hate sex. at least you feel something other than lust for the person you're fucking." you grimace, and he nods. with a wave of your hand, the sand collapses. "these next three…you can pick which you want first." he glances at them, his hand subconsciously searching for yours. you grab it, and he points at the two people. you let your skin burn as you begin to talk, his fingers tightening around your palm. "these…are your parents, and the forest around the university." the room stills, and chan lets go of your hand. "what about them?" "you're afraid they're not proud of you. you feel like you're missing out on your experiences with them, because…" you wince as an aftershock racks your body, making you shiver. you miss chan's nervous glance. "because they're distant. you feel like an outcast from your family, and it affects the way you form bonds here. it's hard for you to build friendships, and it's hard for you to establish relationships because you fear being loved. or maybe loving, and not being loved back"

taking a breath, you pull your knees to your chest.

"the forest is representative of your lost feeling. all the trees look the same, and it makes you feel like you're constantly going in circles. everyone here is identical, we all have something special. you find it hard to relate because although you know there is something that makes you like us, you're unaware of what it is." he nods, and you let the figures drop.

"this one…" you're mumbling, and he leans slightly closer to hear you. sighing, you pull the figure of you closer. raising your arm, the figure raises her arm. "that's me." his head snaps to look at you, your eyes burning holes into the floor. you glance at the figure, collapsing it. all the figures pool together, and you lean forward, blowing it like you would dust off a bookshelf. it disappears, and chan leans back on his hands.

"what about you?" he murmurs, and you shake your head, moving to lie through your teeth. "i don't know." "you're lying." you feel your glow return, flickering gold. "y/n, tell me what it means." "i can't." you shrug, "i don't know what it means. did this help? do you feel better?"

he's peering at you, his eyes swirling violet. you raise a brow as you look at him over your shoulder, and he just shakes his head. getting up, he stalks back to the couch. you watch as he shoves his arms into his hoodie, and you simply get up, floating towards your desk.

he grabs your arm, pulling you closer to him. you sense the frost of indigo across your mid-back. you turn his hold, eyes glued to his fingers wrapped around your arm. "why?"

"hm?" "why can't you tell me?" his eyes are insistent in their violet glory. chills run down your back, indigo spreading over your hips as you run your eyes over him. he's so beautiful. "because…i can't reciprocate."

he doesn't understand, you can tell as he keeps looking at you. kind of like he wants to eat you alive, but also like he wants you to vanish.

"it means you're in love with me, or you will be. you don't like the idea of it, because it means you'll have to open up to me. that kind of…figure doesn't change, even if you want it to. you won't get the option to leave me out of your heart, and it will be unrequited for the rest of our lives. you will love me, forever, and you won't get a say in it." he lets go, brows furrowed, and his face is deep red in embarrassment. you take a step forward, and your hands instinctively reach for his waist. he allows it as he crosses his arms across his chest, his eyes fixated on you, waiting for you to speak.

"i can't love, chan." you whisper, and feel indigo overwhelm you. pursing your lips, you look down so as to not let him see the tears forming. "trust me when i say i wish i could. i wish i could love you, the way you deserve. i could wake up every morning and reach for you, but you would never be there because i can't give you what you need." the tears are dripping off your face now, pattering on the rug beneath your feet. you let go of him, your fingers tugging your shirt up, slipping it over your head. your hair falls to your shoulders, and you push it back, dropping your shirt on your desk. his eyes soften as he looks at the curve of the wide scar – like an insignia, it's carved into your skin. it starts on your shoulder, curving around it the way a fallen bra strap would. it trails down your sternum, before splitting at your diaphragm. a sharp point ends right under your left breast, while the other curves to the right of your belly button, ending on your hip.

"there is nothing i could do in this world that could ever get me in trouble, because i have this." speaking softly, you lift the cup of your bra, showing him where x marks the spot – directly above your heart. "the coven said this was my punishment for minhwi's involvement in this world, and the outrage i sparked. i can't feel love, and i haven't for so long that even if i did, i wouldn't know what it's like. i won't ever feel what it's like to be loved again, because i don't deserve it."

chan's eyes are glossed over as he brings his hand to your skin, the singe making you grimace as his fingers trace the border lightly. he tucks his lip in his teeth as he touches your shoulder, and your glow flickers slightly brighter. he pulls you in, burying his nose in your hair. "everyone deserves love. this is not your fault, i'm sorry things happened this way." you pull back, his eyes glistening with tears as he thumbs the scar on your shoulder. you give him a sad smile, shrugging in his hold. "it's life. life goes on, but for what it's worth…if i could, i'm sure you'd take great care of me."

"i still can." he says, reaching for your shirt. "i'm a pleaser, really. reciprocation has never been an issue." 

"are you seriously making a pass at me? after i just told you all of that? have some shame." you let an airy chuckle slip through your lips as you take your shirt from him, and he just smiles. one, two dimples. "not being able to love doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to cum. just saying." you gasp, landing a gentle smack on his arm before sliding your shirt on. "chan, stop it! what did i say about casual sex, hm?" pointing an accusatory finger in his direction, he cages you between your desk and his firm chest. "didn't we just talk about this? you know it's not casual." you know it's not casual.

"just once, think about yourself, yeah? do yourself a favor." he places a chaste kiss on your nose, and you feel your cheeks heat as he peppers his lips over them. you let a giggle bubble in your throat, his lips stopping over your lips. "just think about it." he gives your lips a quick kiss, before pulling back.

"it's late, let me walk you home?" he offers a gentle look in his eyes. you just nod, grabbing your purse from the back of your desk. you decide you'll move the tables back on thursday, sliding your cardigan up your arms. "aren't you cold?" he asks, sliding his arm over your shoulders like he did the night of the party, as you lock the classroom door.

"no, actually. i don't know if you feel it, but every time you touch me, i feel like i'm on fire." you chuckle lightly as you start walking, and his breath hitches. glancing at him, he just moves the two of you forward. "chan?" "mhm?" he doesn't look at you, and you stop walking. crossing your arms, he sighs. "it's not a big deal." he shrugs, trying to shake the subject by tugging you slightly closer. you frown, wrapping your arms around his waist. your eyes are fixed on him, and he can't help but coo.

"you're so pretty." he squishes your face with his free hand, and continues walking forward. "does it bother you?" you ask, your fingers drumming on his hip. the air is so frigid, and so is indigo as it fights chan's warmth. you just have to let me warm up to you.

he did so awfully fast.

"does what bother me?" he's tracing circles in your shoulder, the movement scorching. he seems so relaxed, so unperturbed by anything. you'd never seen his face so calm, used to the furrow of his brows or the bags under his eyes darker than they should be. "the fact that i won't be able to love you back." he chuckles, fingers squeezing your shoulder. "i'm used to it, as pathetic as it sounds. love is not my forte, or for the people around me. jisung is surprisingly able to get into almost anyone's pants, and can't settle down for shit. changbin is sickeningly in love with his best friend, and do you remember that guy we saw at the party? the one sneaking out of the closet?" 

you nod, and he laughs. "that's seungmin. that girl he was with, they broke up back in august. they've been fucking around ever since. if they're both at a party, they're hooking up. can't seem to stay away from each other, in a desperate attempt to stay on each other's minds, i guess? it's cute, i think." he shrugs. you feel your heart skip a beat, looking  down to see a white glow on your chest. you ignore it, probably glowing silver as you feel the emptiness, the longing to understand what he means.

"so no. it doesn't bother me, it never will. you get used to it."

it pains you a bit, to hear him sound so…well, used to it. so accustomed to settlement, so unbothered by a lack of reciprocation. selfless, really.

wednesday – december 16.

chan wound up spending the night at your apartment. he insisted on taking the couch before you physically pulled him into your room. the moment his back hit the mattress, he ate his words as you tickled him, forcing him to admit that it was more comfortable.

really, you'd just wanted an excuse to wake up next to him. maybe see his bed head, run your fingers through it, exchange a morning kiss. all of that stupid couple shit that you would never fully experience.

because love makes you do stupid things, like spin out on a backroad and die. so you don't deserve to feel it, and really, it keeps you safe. you have no idea what it's like to love anymore and you pretend you're okay with it. you soothe by saying that not all can be felt, not all that can be desired should be had.

but fuck, if you didn't like chan before, you certainly do now.

there's no reason for this. for him standing in your living room, holding a cup of coffee as he reads through the articles you've written and framed. for him to look so cute in your old abba shirt that's too tight on his arms, for his eyes to be swollen with sleep as he blinks over the mug. for him to be so effortlessly unaware of his beauty, of his own effects. on you, on the people in his life.

"you're up." his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you feel your cheeks heat as you nod. "your hair is a mess. here, let me fix it." 

he sets down his cup, calmly running his hand through your mussed hair. the curls fight him as he tucks them behind your ears, his fingers lingering on your lobes as you stare at him. your indigo glow reflects on his skin, his head tilted as he speaks. "what? cat got your tongue, professor?"

your mouth opens to retort, but you have nothing to say. nothing comes out. you feel orange flicker through you as you close your mouth, earning a squeaky laugh from the man in front of you. "cute. there's coffee in the kitchen, i just made it." 

he doesn't have morning classes on wednesdays, you figure as he follows you to the kitchen. because it's eleven thirty and he's still in your apartment, in your shirt, with his hands on your waist, and you don't care one bit as you pour yourself a cup of coffee.

"are you upset? you haven't said a word." his thumbs work into the small of your back, and you shudder at his touch, before you shake your head. "i'm not used to having people here so early." "it's nearly noon, y/n." he laughs airily, his breath tickling your neck. "still, so early." 

you try and ignore the heat in your chest, far stronger than it had ever been before as his fingers carefully dip below the waistband of your sweats, coming out just as quickly. "you weren't in bed when i woke up." you're muttering, but his proximity makes him hear you anyway.

"aw, did you want to wake up in my arms like they do in the movies?" he's teasing you. you scoff in embarrassment, eyes not catching the subtle white glow on your chest as you turn in his hold. "no way, pft. i like spreading my limbs like a starfish, you were crowding me all night." "hey, i offered to take the couch." he shrugs, and you just shake your head. "should've insisted a little more, then i wouldn't have felt so cold when i realized you weren't there." you joke as you set down your cup, and he raises a brow. "didn't think it would bother you, but that can be fixed." "chan–" you squeal as he hooks his arms under your thighs, your own flying to his shoulders. your legs wrap around his waist as he marches the both of you to your bedroom. "chan, don't you have classes today?" "don't you?" he kisses your forehead gently as he sets you down on your bed, pushing you back lightly. you roll your eyes, trying to hide your excitement as he slips under your duvet. he tugs you closer, your back to his chest. if he cares about the scorching heat of your skin touching, he doesn't mention it as he settles his head in the crook of your neck, reaching to intertwine your fingers with his. he holds your hand tightly, nestling it between your breasts. "if you wanted to touch my boobs, you could've just asked." "shut up, let me hold you. be selfish, for once." he nips at your earlobe, and you sigh. tender kisses trail your neck, and you can feel pink creeping down your thighs as he gives your hand a squeeze. "is this okay?"

"mhm." you can't speak as he lets go of your hand, fingers dancing across the exposed skin of your hip where your shirt has ridden up. he doesn't go up, but instead softly dips into the waistband of your sweats, snapping your underwear against your skin. a whine slips, and you freeze as he pauses. "should i stop?" his voice is raspy in your ear, and your hand grabs his wrist, bringing it lower. "it's alright. you can keep going. f-further, if you want."

you curse yourself at the stutter, hearing a soft chuckle in his throat as his fingers pad over the fabric of your panties. your breath hitches in your throat as he circles the wet spot you've been presented with, a shaky sigh escaping chan as he rocks against you. you feel pink envelope in its warmth as you turn onto your back, holding his hand in place as you capture his lips. he kisses you back fervently, his fingers never stopping their movements on your clothed heat. 

"c-can you…" you whimper against his lips, his hand never slowing as you move against it, brows furrowed. he watches as you try to form words, your eyes screwed shut as your hand tugs his away. "can you go d-down on me?" barely a whisper as you peel your eyes open, and he swears they hold the stars.

"i'd kill a man if you asked me." he shrugs, and you just roll your eyes. tugging your sweats off, he gets a glimpse of the way your panties stick to your lower lips, his heart racing in his chest knowing he's got you soaking.

he could make you cum with them on. he's positive.

spreading your thighs slowly, he watches as you hook your thumbs into the waistband. he pushes your hands away, not bothering to address your confusion as he holds them in place, sinking between your legs. he can't help but tease, dragging his soft lips up your skin, watching you shudder at the contact. he moves to grip your hips, your shirt rising and the end of your scar becoming visible. his eyes flicker to yours, "shirt stays on, right?"

"y-yeah." you look away, and he rubs your hip reassuringly. "s'alright, baby. i can make you cum just like this, if you want."

it's not a question, you can tell as he kisses the pink cotton of your panties. he has no intention of taking them off, he might not even fuck you, but you don't care. all that matters are his eyes peering into your fucking soul as he dips his head down, a chaste kiss pressed to your hip. he trails down, hands circling your plush thighs as he litters them with kisses. your eyes are watching him nervously, lip tucked under your teeth to stop the soft pants from echoing the room. you feel like you can't breathe as he pulls you closer to his face, pressing that strong nose into you, inhaling deeply. "you smell so fucking good, baby." he's not even doing anything, but the vibrations of his moan against you elicit a whimper from your throat, making you buck your hips forward. his grip tightens as he nuzzles his nose against your clit, placing a soft kiss on it before he speaks against it.

"be nice, or i'll make you scream." he smiles into your underwear, tonguing your clit through the fabric. he watches as your glow grows brighter, pulling you impossibly closer. he's letting you grind on his face, to use him for your pleasure, and you'd be lying if that doesn't make you that much more wet for him. "y-you don't want to take them off?"

your stuttering is adorable to him, and the way your fingers card through his hair and tug adds to his own pleasure. shaking his head, he snaps the waistband against you again, "you're so needy, aren't you? can't get off just like this?" "channie, p-please. please, i want your f-fingers." he hums against your clit, continuing his cruel lapping, the sound of your pussy against his face obscene and sloppy. "you can beg better than that. tell me how bad you want it, baby." "w-want it so bad, channie, please. please, i'll be g-good for you, p-promise. s-so good." you're almost sobbing, and he almost feels bad. a gentle laugh leaves his throat as he thumbs your slit, leaving sticky strings against his skin as he gives in. "so good? so, so good for me? is that right?" he slides the flimsy fabric down your legs, the exposure to the cool air making you shiver. he's watching your face contort as he collects your arousal on his fingers, before slowly teasing your entrance. "i swear to god, chan-" your retort gets cut off by a gasp, his fingers hitting just right, his lips sucking tortuously on your clit. he likes it messy, is all you can think in your fucked out state as you coat his entire hand in your slick, feeling him groan against your pussy.

"look at you, so pretty. you're a good girl for me, right? you're gonna soak the sheets, hm?" he feels you clamp around his fingers, another wave of your arousal glazing his palm as you sob. "fuck, you sound so hot." "c-channie..." you rasp, your voice so low he almost misses it. he peers at you over your soft tummy, your lips swollen and covered in your spit from biting back your moans. you're actively whining, grinding against his hand in a weak attempt at reaching your release. "aw, baby wants to cum? is that it?"

you whimper, making him curl his fingers inside your wet heat. he seemed to have found the perfect spot as you arched your back off the bed, attempting to pull away from him. his left arm holds you tightly in place, your fingers clutching his wrist as your choked moan rings blissfully in his ears. your thighs close around him, his soft shh doing nothing to quiet you down as you let your orgasm wrack your legs. his lips pepper kisses all over your pelvis, mumbles of praises as he works his way up. 

he hovers over your face, pressing his soft lips on your cheek. you wrap your arms around his neck, shivering at the way his fingers pinch your clothed nipple lightly. "you can give me one more, right? just one more, princess." he's murmuring against your skin, and you nod as he reaches your lips. 

"just one more?" you nip at his lower lip, before sinking in to kiss him. "just one. want to feel you around me, want to know how good i'm making you feel." you realize it's important to chan, despite what he said the night before. he wanted to be praised, he wanted to make somebody proud, even if this was the only way he felt he could do it. he could act like he's this statue, this emotionless, needless creature of nature – but he also desired approval, to be needed, to be wanted.

to be loved.

you don't say anything as you let his hands push your knees to your chest, his lips now suckling on your nipple through your shirt. your hands move to his head, pushing it away as you go to slip it off. his hands let go of your legs, entwining your fingers with his brows furrowed. "you don't have to." "i want to." you quip back quickly, tugging your fingers out of his grasp. you hook them at the hem of your shirt, lightly lifting off the bed to slide it off. he hesitates, his eyes tracing the curves of the raised skin. the way it glows lightly, almost as though it's losing its defined edges.

his eyes flicker to yours, your gaze intently scanning his face. did you think he'd be disgusted? maybe even repulsed? lowering his head, he brushed a kiss to your lips, before he allowed himself to sink to your chest. you breathed in nervously, your fingers gripping the sheets next to your body when you felt his mouth planting feather-light touches to your scar.

he can feel your skin heat under his face, the more he travels along the healed welt. the glow is slightly brighter than your overall pink, as you shudder under him, his hands pulling your fingers into his, the crumpled sheets forgotten as he pins your arms above your head.

"you're so beautiful. gorgeous, ethereal. no words could express how lovely you are." he whispers as he presses one final kiss where x marks the spot, and you jolt lightly at the singe you feel. it spreads, the whole insignia across your torso burning deeply as he moves back. his eyes are flashing with something you can't read. "chan…" "sorry." he shakes his head, his thumbs rubbing circles into your hands. you tilt your head at him, before glancing at his body, a smile spreading on your plump lips. "are you going to fuck me with all your clothes on?"

"i can." he smiles, and you raise an eyebrow. "off, all of it." 

standing off the side of your bed, he tugs your old abba shirt off, and you watch with sinful eyes as he flings it away. "stop staring at me." he whispers, and you shake your head playfully. "you said you'd kill a man if i asked, and gave me the best head of my life, but i can't watch you strip?" 

"the best, huh?" he ignores everything else he slips his sweats off, pulling your hips to the edge of the bed. "don't get cocky, or this won't count as extra c-credit." your eyes peer at him, the leaking head of his thick cock already teasing your folds lightly. his hands circle your legs once more, pulling one over his shoulder while folding the other close to your chest. he stares at your soaked cunt, the way it clenches around nothing. so inviting, so wet, so ready for him.

"that's alright, let's count it as the first class i missed. what was it, getting to know me? ask me something." he continues his teasing, watching as you squirm against him. "uhm, o-okay. what's your favorite color?"

"really?" he rubs against you lightly, his tip dragging over your clit so menacingly, you swear you could cum from just that. "hm, i like black." "black is an ab-absence of color, fuck." you dig your nails into your thighs as he shallowly thrusts into you, the lack of warning wracking a shudder up your spine. "mm, if you can't keep talking there's going to be an absence of dick in about two seconds."

"n-no, no please. shit, that feels so good." you can't keep your eyes open as he slowly sinks further into you, stilling his movements as you tuck your lip into your teeth. "ah, ah. eyes open, keep talking to me." his fingers lightly tap your cheek, your skin burning in embarrassment as you peel your eyes open. "next question, baby." "b-biggest accomplishment so f-far?" you swallow thickly as his hips are flush against your ass, allowing you to adjust to the size of him before making any more movements. he leans his head against your ankle, brows furrowed as he speaks. "probably making you cum so hard, you cry." you narrow your eyes as you look at him, "you h-haven't, though?" "but i will." he kisses your shin, giving an experimental thrust of his hips. your eyes flutter shut, a silent gasp from your lips turning to soft mewls as he starts a gentle pace. "next question." "d-do you believe in love at first s-sight?" you feel him hesitate, before he gives you a particularly harsh thrust. "somewhat." he rubs your thigh gently before continuing his brutal ministrations. "harder, please." silently, he obliges, letting your breathy moans fill his ears instead of talking. he hates talking, he hates answering questions, but he can't help and adore the tone of your voice, the softness of your queries, the avoidance in answering his.

"you feel so good, channie, holy shit." he can feel you clenching tightly around him, but lets your praise take precedence. the way you're arching your back off the mattress, hairline lined with beads of sweat as you let him fuck into you, just the way you like. the way you seem to love, as he lowers to whisper in your ear. "next question."

the proximity makes everything feel like it's a thousand degrees, your hands flying to his hair as he sucks on your collarbone lightly. "favorite s-song? ah!' you hiss at his teeth on your skin, feeling his grin against you.

"your voice." his thrusts are slowly becoming less steady, but you don't care. you don't care because his skin is scorching hot, he's holding you to him, you can feel the air of his pants against your neck and he feels so good.

there's no reason for this. for him to be blissfully ruining you while holding you flush to his chest, your nipples touching with every roll of his hips. for him to look so good while he defiles you, the way you're not even speaking coherently in his ear. for your soul to feel like it's aching for more of him, but how much more could you have when you can't love him. for him to be so effortlessly unaware of his beauty, of his own effects, on you, as the white-hot of your orgasm starts approaching fast.

"i…" you feel a sob rip through you, and he instinctively pulls away from you. "hey, hey. it's alright, baby." guilt fills his chest, his hands holding your face as the tears stream down your cheeks. "it's alright, we don't have to–" pushing yourself up on your elbows, you smash your lips to his, feeling yourself glow so hot you're practically on fire. it's all teeth and tongue, and you're wrapping your fingers around his throat before he can react. squeezing gently, he whines into your mouth, his hips snapping erratically against you. you swallow his sounds in your quiet sobs, the tears dripping down your neck doing nothing to cool you down. 

"y/n…" he whines pitifully against your lips, and you can feel his pout emerge as you clench around him. he settles his face in the crook of your neck, cheeks flushed. "p-please don't stop, don't stop, e-ever…" you're just as needy as he is, throwing your head back as he bites at your shoulders, your hand on his throat tightening as he sends you over the edge.

"fuck, baby." the whimper into your shoulder does nothing good for him as you clench around him, milking whatever is left of him, hips driving you both into overstimulation. he slows, his head lifting from your shoulder to peer into your eyes. you avoid them, letting go of his throat and wiping them off with the back of your hand.

the room feels heavy, with guilt. shame. maybe even a bit of hatred, but you’re not entirely sure as he kisses you gently, chastely, before pulling back. his eyes hold the sun, the stars, the moon.

"guess you got your biggest accomplishment, huh?" you chuckle thickly, and he shakes his head, pulling out slowly. his eyes avert to your center, watching his cum drip out of you slowly. he feels weird, it's such a waste. "are you okay? i should've asked sooner, i'm sorry." "no, no. it was…it was really good." you admit, feeling your glow flicker. you close your legs, scooting up on the bed as he reaches for your shirt, you cross your arms over your chest, fingers digging into your sides. "i really liked it, actually." "are you sure?" he's absent, you can tell as he wipes the back of your legs gently, before tossing the shirt over his shoulder. "i'm sorry for crying, i know it was really sudden. i just felt so overwhelmed and you felt so good, and i…" you trail off, and he feels his cheeks heat, shaking his head again. "no, it's fine. that was the goal, after all. i…do you want me to go?" your brows furrow, and you tilt your head. "go? why would i want you to go?" he shrugs, not meeting your eyes as he tugs on his sweatpants. "i don't know, i usually leave after…things like this." "what happened to 'you know it's not casual?'" you use air quotes, and you see his cheeks burn bright red. "i…i don't think i'd be able to do this, especially after what we talked about yesterday."

"do…what? we just had sex, it's not a big deal." you uncross your arms, ignoring your blatant nudity as he slips your abba shirt to you, taking it just to toss it to the side. "...act like i don’t care. i really, really like you, y/n, and i already feel so guilty about this." he can't look at you as he slips his hoodie on, the one you'd thrown over your desk chair last night when he said it was too hot to wear to bed.

you close your mouth, pressing your lips into a firm line as you grab the shirt, tugging it over your head. "i figured this would happen. maybe you should go, chan. clear your head, and we can talk later."

your brows are furrowed as you open your bedroom door, and he swallows thickly. he knew what he was getting himself into, so why does it bother him now? he said he wouldn't care, he said it so confidently.

and yet, he can't bring himself to say a word as he slams out of your apartment, eyes full of tears. leaving you feeling dejected, guilty and alone.

thursday – december 17.

it wasn't until the next day that you noticed it was significantly smaller.

it didn't curve under your breast anymore, the subtle x on your skin gone. it didn't wrap around your shoulder anymore, and it stopped right next to your navel. the scarred skin was now a bit paler, and you'd grimaced as you tugged your shirt on.

you couldn't be arsed with thinking about it, really, because now you had to walk into your classroom and face chan. of course, the chances of him not being there were fifty-fifty.

which inherently, made you feel worse.

you didn't understand why you couldn't stop thinking about his words, and what he said. your voice was his favorite song, he didn't care if you loved him or not, he somewhat believed in love at first sight? he'd met you officially a little over a month ago, no one can fall in love that quickly.

groaning, you felt orange flicker across your body as you let your heels clack against the saltillo tile of the hallway, tossing your half-empty coffee cup in the trash can. upon entering your room, the air feels…cooler.

chan is sitting on the couch, his legs squished together as minnie and shuhua peer at his face. soyeon, mingyu and yugyeom are flipping through various textbooks, each talking about what could have caused a sudden irischroma shift. he probably feels the heat of your stare, his eyes flickering to yours.

they're a deep, deep indigo color. they flash lightly at the sight of you, and minnie looks up to see you standing at your podium. "y/n…you've gotta come see this." "i can…i can see it, minnie." your voice is faint as you feel your chest searing hot, your hand coming to soothe it. clearing your throat, you shake your head as you feel a little weary, shuhua approaching you quickly. "are you okay? y/n?" "yes, i'm okay." your breathing becomes a little labored, soyeon and mingyu rushing to your side as you sink to the floor. "just give me some room." your hands touch the cool floor, and you can feel yourself dimming by the second. 

"gyu, get help." minnie shoves mingyu out the door, and you can hear his footsteps fading as he runs to the infirmary. "chan, help me pick her up." yugyeom urges, and you weakly shake your head.

"i'm fine, i'm okay." you choke out, your hand clutching your chest as you feel chan's warm hands on your arms, circling around to lift you gently. "easy, easy. i got you, baby." he murmurs, and you feel your eyes sting with tears as he lets you slump against him, your glow fading fast.

"stay with me." his fingers dig into your side as he picks you up bridal style, carefully walking you over to the couch. yugyeom pulls their backpacks off, letting him lower you gently. minnie fans you with a stack of papers. chan peers at your face, your brows pinched as you breathe in as deeply as you can, his thumb instinctively padding at the crease. huffing, you tear his hand away, lacing your fingers in his. he acts like his heart doesn’t lurch forward.

"alright, everybody, back up." mingyu's voice rings in the room, and your bleary eyes can barely make out the oxygen mask that nurse taeyeon is slipping over your face. "there, there, professor. we got you."

you're shivering as she instructs chan to lift you onto the gurney on three, and you almost cry at the loss of contact when he sets you down. "chan, chan." your voice is nearly a whisper, and the students watch as you flicker, your glow lost as it glitches between colors. 

"maybe you should go with her." yugyeom nudges him as nurse taeyeon glances at him, and she crosses her arms as chan nods slowly,slipping his bag over his shoulder. he takes nurse taeyeon's place at the end of the gurney, rolling you quietly out of the classroom. you're flickering from color to color as he walks slightly faster at nurse taeyeon's command.

"what happened?" she asks, and chan shakes his head as they take a sharp turn, your groan resounding in the hall. "i'm not sure, she just started clutching her chest and basically fell to the floor." nodding, taeyeon stays quiet the rest of the walk, her eyes only glancing at his worried expression and your hazy one. they're in love, she thinks. this is love.

taeyeon can't really help you. her powers lay in the herbalism field, she has no idea what's wrong, and she can't get a specialist here fast enough. she watches as chan carefully positions you in the empty room, letting his bag slide onto the floor before taking a seat at the foot of the bed. she simply sighs, calling that she'd be back with a rosemary tea and to just sit tight as she calls for the master sorcerers.

his hand gently strokes your ankle, making you flinch. "chan, chan i can't breathe." you tug at your collar, and he quickly reaches to unbutton your top buttons. "it's gonna be okay, angel." he's whispering as your hand grasps his wrist, the oxygen mask doing little to help as you wheeze.

"chan…" his head lifts, and your eyes are teary as you hear footsteps approaching hurriedly. he doesn't acknowledge you as the master sorcerers burst into your room, taeyeon trailing behind them with a steaming cup. "excuse me, coming through." she perches at the edge of the bed, carefully pulling you up. you whimper softly, and chan feels his heart ache at your pain. "drink this, it'll help your stress. that's probably what this is, just some anxiety."

taeyeon's tone is soft as she takes off the oxygen mask, the master sorcerers waiting until they can swoop in. neither of them acknowledge chan, despite getting to know him insanely well over the past few years. he could dare to think that they were afraid of him, of not knowing what he was. master sorcerers my ass, he thinks.

"i can't…" you're breathless, and taeyeon's gaze softens as she lets you slump down on the pillow once more. "it's alright. the master sorcerers are here, okay? they'll take care of you." she pats your shoulder, and you nod wearily as the grandest of all, dr. kang seulgi, takes a step forward.

"bang chan, why are you here?" her sharp voice echoes in the room, and your hand weakly reaches for him as he slides off the bed. "i brought her in, dr. kang."

"i see. you can evacuate the premises." she waves him away nonchalantly, and he frowns deeply as he steps back, your eyes fixed on him. almost like you're begging him to stay.

"i think i'll stay, actually." he blurts, and dr. kang's eyes snapped to him. "i'm not asking you, chan, i'm telling you." "let the boy stay, what's the harm?" dr. min's voice rings from his spot against the door frame, and chan glances up at the nimble man. "c'mon, seulgi."

"yoongi, if you undermine me again, you're sleeping on the couch." she grits, her wedding band to dr. min glinting in the low light as she rubs her temples. your hand reaches for chan once more, a soft groan from your lips catching his attention. he takes it, entwining your fingers quickly, kneeling at your side. "of course, jagi. y/n, what seems to be the problem?" dr. min pushes past, noting the undone buttons of your blouse. your chest is glowing, but the rest of you is the dimmest indigo he'd ever seen. much less, having seen you never glow indigo. your breathing is still labored, chest glowing brighter as chan once more rubs the pinch of your brows away.

"y/n, i'm going to open your shirt, okay?" dr. kang pushes past dr. min, her nimble fingers undoing the rest of the buttons. your scar is illuminated, but…it's not really there. it's faded, and chan can tell this is out of the ordinary as dr. kang's brows raise.

"yoongi." her voice is low, bringing her husband to her side. "oh, my."

their eyes meet, as though they're speaking telepathically. dr. kang's eyes flash gold as she furrows her brows, her husband grimacing as his own flash green. they glance at chan, who is gingerly moving your hair out of your face, his fingers barely ghosting over your sticky skin.

you can barely see him through your foggy eyes, but you're scanning him intently. you can see the glowing indigo of his eyes, that matches yours. you're dimming, but he's brighter than ever and it sends a shiver up your spine. his hand squeezes yours, a wave of heat attacking your chest.

dr. kang looks back, her husband staring intently at her.

"he healed her, it seems." his eyes speak, and she shakes her head. "he's not a healer, remember? we tried that already." yoongi nods, eyes fluttering back to the both of you. chan's now sitting on the edge of the bed, your arm draped over his lap as he speaks to you gently. he can't hear what chan is saying, but the glint of adoration in his eyes tells him all he needs to know.

"chan, can i see you in the hallway?" dr. min speaks, and your head turns to him. you pout, your eyes filling with tears as chan pulls away from you. dr. kang gives him a hard glare as she takes his place, her cool hand placed directly on your hot skin, making you groan.

"yes, dr. min?" chan's eyes are enticing, and dr. min shrugs. "let's try a little something, hm?" chan follows dr. min's line of vision, the door of the bathroom ajar. dr. min makes a gesture for chan to wait, before ducking into the bathroom, shutting the door. chan hears a loud crash, and dr. min appears just as fast, with a bloody fist.

"dr. min, are you alright? i can get nurse taeye-" dr. min places his free hand over chan's mouth, a knowing look in his eyes as he holds up his injured hand. "heal me, chan." "what? sir, i'm not a healer, you know that." chan furrows his brows, and dr. min shakes his head. "channel it." dr. min's eyes are boring into chan's soul as he looks away, shivering as he tries to channel any sort of magical energy for this injury. he's not surprised when nothing happens, and dr. min nods his head.

dr. min simply heals it himself, and chan looks away as the skin closes quickly, the dried blood disappearing before his eyes. vitalis mendacium, he thinks it's called. "chan, i think i may have an idea of what's going on with professor y/n." dr. min clasps his hands together in front of him, and chan tilts his head.

"you're in love with her, aren't you?" dr. kang's voice rings from the doorway of your room, and chan gapes at her. "w-what?" "don't play dumb. she told me she helped you clear some emotional blockage on tuesday, and she showed up in your blockages." dr. kang crosses her arms, and a groan is heard from you, chan flinching at the sound. "chan, this is dangerous territory." his eyes narrow as he shakes his head. "i don't think what you did to her was right. i think we all deserve a chance at love, no matter our mistakes. you're wrong, dr. kang." dr. kang scowls, "you think we did this to her? the old coven did it, we had no say!" she points between herself and her husband, and dr. min places his hand on her shoulder.

"chan, seulgi is right. in this world, there is no amount of study done that could reverse what the old coven has done to y/n. they cursed layers upon layers of punishment on her, this was never intended to be something that could be undone." dr. min speaks slowly, and chan can hear you whining in the room behind the couple. he's antsy, he feels sick to his stomach knowing you're a mere ten feet away and he can't make you feel better. 

"i don't know what to do." dr. kang admits lowly, her hand covering her eyes as she looks away from the men in front of her. "i think…" dr. min trails off as chan pushes past them, sliding next to you. he watches chan fan you with his hand, your own wrapped around his waist as you shiver.

"you trust me, right?" he looks to seulgi, who nods her head. "always." his hands spin her around, making her face the two of you. "i think this is his to heal. look how quiet she is in his presence, she's barely moving. her breathing is more steady." "yoongi, he's not a healer." seulgi groans into her hands, her eyes catching a flash of white protruding from you as chan runs his hand down your back. she watches as he helps you peel your jacket off, your baby pink shirt transparent from the sheen of your sweat soaking through.

"maybe not for us, but for her." yoongi mumbles, seeing chan swipe your hair away from your neck, his lips pursed as he blows cool air against your skin. your groan is one of relief as he rocks you, and seulgi glances at her husband, swallowing thickly. "they're so rare, yoongi. there hasn't been one in this dimension in three hundred and twenty five years."

"i think we may have another on our hands." yoongi smiles widely as you slowly prop yourself up on your elbow, chan's worried eyes scanning your face for distress. you make a noise of disgust, your glow returning green steadily as chan helps you sit up. "what happened? ugh, i'm all sweaty."

glancing at your hands, you see them glowing indigo as it spreads up your body. you turn, seeing the master sorcerers staring at you from the doorway. grimacing, you glimpse at chan, who is looking at you intently. "hey, you alright?" his hand is holding your hip, and your frown falters as you look into his eyes. they're glowing bright as he looks you over. "what happened to your eyes?" your voice is raspy, and he looks away, shrugging.

"i'm not sure. they started changing last night." he swallows, and you shudder as indigo engulfs you entirely. "they look…pretty."

he snorts, shaking his head. "you might want to button up your shirt." feeling your cheeks burn, your fingers fumble with the buttons when you feel seulgi's cool hand on your wrist. "wait."

letting her lay you back, you miss chan's warmth as he slips off the bed, lingering from a few feet away as she opens your shirt. her eyes widen as she quickly beckons her husband over. his eyes snake down your torso, and his eyes glint with green as he meets seulgi's. they're silent, their faces moving as they communicate.

"y/n?" dr. kang's voice is low as she runs her hand through your mussed curls, and you meet her line of vision. her eyes are soft, staring at your torso. "y/n, do you know the history of psychosomatic healers?"

raising a brow, you nod your head. "yeah, they're the rarest of the healing trifecta. there hasn't been one in this dimension since 1699, and even then there's only seven recorded cases because they're so difficult to pinpoint at commencement." dr. min steps forward, noticing chan's eyes glued to the floor as dr. kang examines you further.. "y/n, i'd like to try something, if you don't mind." nodding, you allow dr. kang to take your arm in her hand, pulling your sleeve off your shoulder. 

with a quick swipe of her nails, you're bleeding. you gape at her, a scoff flying from your lips when chan looks up, the sound tearing him from his thoughts. "are you serious, seulgi?" you push her away, flickering orange and dr. min beckons chan forward. "touch her, chan."

taking a deep breath, chan gets closer to you, his nose scrunching at the blood seeping into your shirt. he takes your hand in his, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin. you look away from your shoulder, zeroing in on the subtle touch of affection when a white glow catches everyone's eyes. tugging at your shirt sleeve, seulgi reveals a clean shoulder, no injury visible.

"a psychosomatic healer can only heal those they love." she states, her eyes boring into chan's as he tries to tug his hand away, but you only use it as leverage to sit up. "what the fuck are you guys on about?" "there's no way you're that dumb, y/n." seulgi snorts, her manicured fingernail pointing at your chest. "i don't know how he did it, and i don't think we'll ever know. the curse the coven set upon you has been lifted by him." you look down — the raised welt where your scar once was has dissipated. widening your eyes, you peel the shoulder of your shirt down, the formerly scarred skin now smooth. your fingers tremble as you run them over your soft flesh, feeling the sting of tears forming. you can feel the burn of a sob in your throat as chan releases your hand, stepping back as you process.

the burning of his gaze, of his skin on yours, of your chest in his presence. the ache you felt in your soul yesterday as his lips brushed your neck with every roll of his hips, the way his answers confused you. the anger you felt while walking to class, at not being able to decipher him.

the way his angel eyes held the sun, the moon, and the stars. the way worry creases his brow though relief has washed over his frame, the way you're itching to hold him close, and never, ever let go.

it all makes sense.

"we'll give you both a moment." the master sorcerers bow their heads as they back out of the room, dr. min closing the door behind him. you sit in silence, feeling sticky and gross and overwhelmed.

"you're in love with me?!" you shriek, and chan throws up his hands in defense. "i thought we already knew this, why are we screaming?!" you swat his arm, and a nervous laugh bubbles up his throat. flopping back down onto the gurney, you dramatically cover your eyes with your arm, sighing. "now i have to cherish this, and we're probably going to get married and have kids and all that shit. are you serious? are you serious." "y/n…" you stand up, pacing back and forth in front of him, your hands weaving through your hair to soothe the onsetting migraine at the information. "how are you not freaking out, chan? you just found out you're one of the rarest healers in the trifecta, and not to mention the first in over three centuries! are you shitting me right now?" "y/n?"

you're not listening as you continue to ramble, pacing a hole into the floor when he grabs your shoulder, pulling you to him. taking both your hands in his, he looks you in the eyes. "you're spiraling." 

huffing, you nibble on your lower lip. "what happens now, chan?"

his smile is warm, it's comforting, it's making your stomach flip as he pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. "i don't know. isn't that the beauty of it all, though? not knowing where you end up?"

pouting, you rest your head on his shoulder, allowing his warmth to seep into your skin. "i've never felt this, chan. i don't know what it's like to be lost, i've always had my answers." you can feel the vibrations of his chest as he laughs, his hand coming to stroke your hair gently.

"that's okay, it'll be like the blind leading the blind. for now, we can just focus on…us? maybe go on a date, have dinner…" his voice is soft as you look up to him, his eyes already scanning your face for any hint of rejection. "unless you don't want to." you do, of course you do.

"i'm all sweaty, and gross. we've had a revelation about your purpose in this world, your eyes are a different color, and you want to focus on us?" your voice is laced with incredulity, a hint of amusement peeking through as it tugs at your lips. "i have my whole life to focus on other things. when you can't find a piece of a puzzle, you pick another part to focus on, do you not? i have that answer, that piece now, but i'm already figuring this part out." squeezing your shoulder, he places a chaste kiss on your hairline, your nose scrunching.

"why did you come with me?" you poke his chest, and he smirks. "yesterday or today?"

gaping, you land a soft smack to his chest, his squeaky laughter filling your ears as your cheeks heat. "chan! not funny!" "sorry, i'm sorry! i saw an opportunity, i took it. but, i was worried about you." he starts, taking a piece of your hair between his fingers. "i saw how angry you looked before minnie spoke to you, and before you looked at me. you started looking faint when we met eyes, and i was…i was scared that something might happen to you and that i wouldn't be able to apologize for potentially overstepping boundaries, or ruining whatever little game we have going on."

"you couldn't ruin whatever this is even if you tried." you scoff, your words tumbling out before you can process them. "i've never felt anything this intense before in my entire life. my ears started ringing when i touched your chest on tuesday, here." you splay your fingers on his hoodie, in the same place.

"i couldn't hear a thing. that was me, the blockage, i was basically hearing myself. if we didn't have that moment, if you hadn't let me in, none of this would have happened." you speak softly, taking his hands in yours, his eyes glassy as he looks into yours. your smile is gentle, and he can feel his stomach flutter as you lean closer. "and i'm so glad it did. despite this whole day being so weird, despite the coven probably burning holes into the back of my head right now from hell right now, and despite the tears i can see about to spill out of your eyes, nothing could ruin this. okay?" he looks away, nibbling on his lip. your thumb strokes his cheek, catching a few stray tears as you make him face you. vision blurring, but you can see him clearer than ever.

"okay?" you insist, and he nods. "okay."

"good." pulling him towards you, you crash your lips to his, feeling your heart beating in your ears. your arms cross over his shoulders, his hands finding home on your bare waist, the kiss becoming heated. parting his lips, your tongue snakes its way in, a soft groan from chan as he pushes you back, your knees hitting the gurney. 

"not in here, guys." dr. kang's voice echoes in the room, and you spring apart like teenagers. wiping at your lips, you watch as chan grabs your discarded jacket, and his bag. outstretching his hand to you, you take it, letting him rush the both of you towards the door. quickly bowing to the master sorcerers, you giggle as the cool december air hits your chest.

"yeah, y/n! nice titties, girl!" you hear a holler from down the hall, your eyes catching a glimpse of minnie's teal hair. you smile widely, waving as chan continues, a blush coating his cheeks as you begin to float behind him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"where are we going?" you mumble in his ear, and he shivers. "to yours. i need to show you how much you mean to me." you let the butterflies bounce around in your stomach, knowing exactly what was coming your way.

friday – january 08.

your relationship with chan had become the talk of the wizard world. several words were thrown your way, many to your detriment – but you chose to focus on 'love epiphany' and 'anomalies made to traverse together.'

he naturally passed your class with flying colors, what more could you do when he literally discovered himself? the students deemed it completely fair, with only yugyeom choosing to retake your course because he felt like he didn't really do what was necessary. mornings were filled with the buzzing of your phone – the students had made a group chat and continuously badgered you with memes, and mingyu with his graduation photos.

whereas, chan's mornings were filled with you, his phone long put on silent. your soft hair tickling his neck, only for your gentle lips to place chaste kisses along his jaw as he awoke. your warm leg draped over his waist, your knee teasing his crotch so early was something he'd never get used to. your arm, propping you up once he lazily peels an eye open, closing it the moment he sees your beaming smile, a blush coating his cheeks.

"do you always stare at me when i sleep?" he mumbles, his fingers dipping under the hem of your sleep shorts. "do birds fly?" "you're a creep, you know that?" laughing, he lets you hold his eyes open with your fingers, the indigo glow of them making you glow brighter in turn. that was what it meant, after all – the subzero color now warm, as you illuminated the room with your love for chan. "yeah? well you're creeping your fingers into my panties, so maybe shut up."

your lips are addicting, he could never get enough of them as you brush them against him. both sets, of course.

kidding. sort of. not at all. he loves you, okay? that's all that matters.

"you should check your email, channie." you murmur against his neck, and he nods his head, watching as you try not to smile. "oh i should, should i?" ignoring the raise of his eyebrow, you reach for chan's phone, plopping it on his bare chest. chan lolls his head back, hands relocating to your hips as he pulls you on top of him. your cheeks heat at the soft love bites on his pec, but shake it away as his voice snakes into your head

"you seem a little too excited, baby." he ruffles your hair as he unlocks his phone, and you just bite your lip as he scans the screen. "tell me, sorcerer, what's the news?" your voice bounces off the walls, with chan just squeezing your hip in response.

from: spellboundnews@spellbound.edu

dearest bang chan,

it is our honor here at the spellbound institute of magic to let you know that you have been chosen to be published in this year's edition of the spellbound sorcerer. such an honor is only awarded to those with extraordinary skill. 

we've also made the unanimous decision for you to speak at this year's annual convention, taking over the healing trifecta's booth. more information will be provided as the date approaches.

we look forward to seeing you and professor y/l/n there.

signed,

dr. kang seulgi

dr. min yoongi

master sorcerers

spellbound institute of magic

his eyes flicker to yours, your grin so wide, it's infectious. "i'm getting published." "you're getting published!" you cheer loudly, and chan feels his cheeks heat as you pepper his face in kisses. "you're getting published, baby! we have to celebrate! let's ask your parents to dinner, yeah? we can get a cabin for the weekend, so they don't have to drive home so late."

he forgets how you pried the truth about his parents out of him, but he's almost sure it was last tuesday when you made him beg for you to sit on his face. almost sure, but he doesn't really care anymore. after all, he'd warmed up to you.

"i'm so proud of you, channie." your voice is gentle as you swipe your thumbs under his eyes, and he nods, burying his face in your chest as embarrassment spreads in his. "hey, you can't hide from me. what happened to the praise kink? don't you want to know how good you're doing?" "i told you that in confidence!" he swats at your leg as he nestles into your laughter. "i know! it's just me and you here, what's the problem?! let me praise you!"

"never. come on, let's read my stupid essay." he throws the comforter off his legs, and you huff as you climb off his lap. sitting up on the edge of the bed, you lean against his back, your arms hooked around his broad shoulders. the same ones full of your nail marks, a few imprints of your teeth scattered around them. "i graded it, i already read it." "well, praise me while i read it." he snorts, and you press a soft kiss to his shoulder. "mm, okay. i'll take what i can get."

bang chan

professor y/l/n

identity theory

if you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it. – tony stark, spider-man: homecoming (2017)

the fall was slow, like liebesträume.

feeling lost is an understatement.

i've been lost before – in grocery stores, misunderstanding assignments. i've even been lost in the woods before, riddled with anxiety standing within the trees. so uniform, full of belonging. those trees know where their purpose lies.

me? i've been wandering this world not knowing where my purpose lies, what i'm meant to be doing with said unrealized purpose. this is a feeling of disorientation, isolation, off course. it's all the same anyway, isn't it?

i spent years looking for answers – from the day i was dropped off at the academy to the day i met professor y/l/n. life was well sullied with fear, a feeling of desperation as i felt my time running low. i willingly put myself in danger, hopping from dimension to dimension with the aid of some friends to find something to ease my worries, and came up empty. answers will find you, not you them.

another thing i failed to consider was that i perhaps had my answer all along. from the natural instinct to protect and take care of the people i hold close, to the agony of being away from my family – all i needed was a catalyst. something to throw me even more off course, even more confusing than what life had come to be before her.

professor y/l/n has brought me to life. truly, i could never say enough to express the appreciation i have for her, but i will attempt it any chance i get. an enigma, an anomaly, a paradigm – she is far, far more than these words could begin to define. she's selfless, she's full of light and i could never understand that. my admiration for her goes well beyond this lifetime, and like the praying mantis, she was a beacon of guidance.

her story is full of twists and turns as she allowed me to indulge. from the flickering of the glow around her, to understanding that only the deepest of her indigo hue glows for me, i'm honored to say the least. i will never get enough of her story, of her truths, of her. the idea that love lies in the hands of the beholder is entirely true in this case. to be loved is to be known, and she read me far beyond my wildest dreams the moment her golden cast laid upon me. 

eckhart tolle says that, to love is to recognize yourself in another. i have never experienced something as deep as this, nor have i ever seen myself in y/n – and i'm glad i don't. my insecurities, my flaws, what i dislike about myself, are my own. however, i know she sees something i don't, and i trust that. i trust her, with my entire being. without her, i'd have no clue of my purpose. to younger me, who is still wondering the answer to that, i propose this.

your purpose is to love. love beyond your ways, love selflessly. love selfishly, like it's all you can do. like it's all you're capable of, because the moment you lay eyes on y/n? you will see, it is. loving her is all you can do. life without love is meaningless, life without her is hopeless.

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[lucilleslore]

oh lord i love your coryo drabbles so much! especiallyyyy the touch-starved one. i would quite literally die just to be able to read a drabble about coryo slowly falling in love with reader (being an average girl from district 12) over the course of being strangers to friends 🤭

➸ coriolanus arrives in twelve with a dark cloud over his head and a mind full of revenge and envy. he hates that he’s here, hates being surrounded by these people who are so below him, hates that his future is so uncertain.

➸ he’s been plagued by these thoughts for his journey, like a nonstop melody in his head but just as he’s leaving the station he spots you. you’re plain by capitol standards, in a dress that’s a few sizes too small and a little discoloured like you’ve had it for years but you’re smiling and when you see him staring at you, you smile more and offer him a sweet little wave.

➸ his lip curls a little in disgust. he doesn’t want to be approached, he just needs to think on how to get back home, that’s all. but he’s intrigued. so intrigued that when he’s eating his first meal he thinks of you, your name, your life, how that stupid smile of yours made his stomach go funny. when he puts his head down that night he wonders where you could be, if you’re with someone. that’s how easily his obsessions can start.

➸ then he starts to see you around, easily beginning to pick you out of crowds no matter how big. how did he ever think you were plain? compared to everyone else you’re a star, a gem in this dull district. you start to give him something else to think about, to mull over in the quiet moments and as much as he hates these feelings he’s having, he’s grateful for that.

➸ he sees you smiling at everyone. the old people who seem pretty useless to him, the men who go off into the mines everyday, the women who sell their items. what have they done to deserve that from you? the jealousy curdles in his stomach when he realises he wants those smiles to himself, doesn’t even want you to look at anyone apart from him. he’s infatuated with you.

➸ honestly he’s that feral he’d probably start using his peacekeeper status to his advantage. to get information from other people about you. it only feeds his obsession more so after a while he just stops you in the street. pretends something suspicious is going on and asks if you’ve seen anything. this little crease forms between your brows and he resists the urge to reach out and touch it. you’re just so genuine, so sweet, so uncorrupted. he wants you all to himself.

➸ it probably goes on like that for a while. he’s patient and the little snippets are enough for now. he busies himself with getting to know you deeper. watching for your little mannerisms and nervous ticks, figuring out what your real laugh sounds like compared to your fake one. stupid, stupid things. it’s a complete waste of time coryo thinks but he still can’t stop.

➸ he will definitely interfere in your life if he has to. you think you’re going out dancing with that cute guy from the mines? no way. not on his watch. he’ll find some way to keep the guy busy and when coryo sees you looking upset the next day he can’t stop thinking about ways to cheer you up. to get you smiling for him.

➸ there are nights though where he’s dragged out by his bunk mates and sajanus and he sees you there too. dancing with your friends, singing and laughing and in those moments if he could wish for one thing, he’d wish to be in your life - properly.

➸ so watching from afar sustains him for a little while but coryo grows desperate with time. you don’t pay much attention to him anymore, he’s merely faded to the background as he’s become more comfortable in twelve. just another peacekeeper who’s handsome but you’d rather avoid.

➸ then maybe one day you’re walking back to your house with a little woven basket of food and someone’s not watching where they’re going and knocks you down. coryo of course is watching and rushes over, he’s not keen on the idea of playing the knight in shining armour but when he saw you on the muddy ground, dirty dress ridden up to expose a slither of thigh; he just had to help. even more so when the idiot who made you fall and knocked your groceries to the ground just turns and leaves you there. he decides he’ll deal with him later.

➸ you’re embarrassed of course, quickly smoothing your dress back down and offering the hand he gives you to help you up. you’re shy but so, so sweet. telling him how much you appreciate the help, giving his hand a little squeeze before you let go, tucking your hair behind your ear. coryo is perceptive though and sees the small disappointed frown that takes over your features when you see what’s happened to your shopping.

➸ and he can’t have that. so before he knows what he’s doing coryo has a hand at the small of your back, turning you around and offering to replace everything you lost. you complain that it’s not necessary, that he doesn’t have to do that but he’s not listening and he buys you double of everything. just to be safe.

➸ so in your head you have to repay him, right? you manage to do some baking with what you had and the next time you see him you’re handing him a little paper bag filled with some treats and he doesn’t know what to say. it’s small, insignificant but he hasn’t had a gift in a long, long time. he’s speechless and he doesn’t like it.

➸ from then on he finds a way to always take you on your errands. will switch shifts if he has to so he’s got the free time. he likes the way people stare at the two of you. the curiosity that plays on their faces when you take his hand and pull him over to look at something. he notices that about you; that you have this basic, unappealing life in twelve but you’re always finding something to be cheery about. you stupefy him sometimes.

➸ coryo begins to imagine putting you on the train and taking you home with him when he goes. showing you what a real life could look like, the glamour and luxury the capitol could offer. you deserve a life like that, you deserve to be spoiled and taken care of. by him, only him. this is when he really starts his scheming because he needs to find a way to get you out of there.

➸ he starts to get closer to you by always showing up for you. you need walked home? he’s there. if you’re out at night he doesn’t just watch anymore, he’ll come over and tell you how pretty you look. he notices you start to walk extra slow, taking longer routes home and he tries to act like you wanting to spend more time with him doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

➸ coryo definitely starts getting in fights. a lot of them. over you. can’t take it when men’s eyes linger too long, when they look you up and down like you’re their next meal. he dreams of getting you to the capitol, even when banished he’s sure they’d show him more respect than he gets in twelve. for gods sake, the men are like animals. he needs to get you out of there.

➸ there’s one day where you invite him to the lake and you see coryo in a different light. where he can be fun and romantic in his own light. he picks you some wild flowers but proceeds to tell you how ugly they are compared to his roses back home. helps you put together a makeshift meal just to screw his face up and tell you how much better the food back home is. you can tell he’s going somewhere with it, you just don’t know where exactly.

➸ your favourite part is when the two of you get in the water. when coryo is a breath away and droplets of water were hanging from his lashes. when the world was quiet and it was just the two of you. you weren’t as naive as he thought you were. there was times you’d look at him and see right through to the darkness of his core. times when you’d want to shrink back when you’d see the empty, hollow expression on his features. he was different, your coryo; but you were determined to love him all the same.

➸ when your lips brushed his coryo tensed up. unprepared for the way it made him feel. the dizzy rush in his head, the way his stomach was rolling. the simplest form of affection and he could hardly breathe, couldn’t think straight even if someone offered him money.

➸ you pulled back, afraid you’d scared him off and he looks terrified. you give him what you hope is a reassuring smile. that smile, coryo thinks as he takes it all in. he’d do anything for that smile. its solidified with that one small kiss that he’ll never let you go. you’re completely and utterly stuck with him <3

[ilonii]

Roomies S.G.

✧ s.m - the everyday life of you and roommate satoru gojo

w.c - 1.1k

warnings. fem reader, use of "y/n" general fluff, mild nudity, flirtatious relationship, sarcasm, etc. brief mentions of aot with possible spoilers

an. first post in the jjk roomie series, really hope you guys enjoy.

Roommate Gojo who moved in with you four years ago and hasn’t stopped bothering ever you since.

Roommate Gojo who has absolutely no sense of personal space. If you’re anywhere within a five-foot radius, he’s right on top of you.

“Gojo please, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d really appreciated it if you backed off”

“No can do pretty”

“For the love of God.”

Roommate Gojo who is a bit of a…free spirit. He thinks his body is a masterpiece and should therefore, be shared with the world. He walks around with no shirt, pees with the door open, sleeps naked, certainly not with the door closed, leaves the bathroom in nothing but a towel and so much more.

Roommate Gojo who eats enough to feed a small army. You do the cooking; he does the eating. Meal preps that were supposed to last two weeks, don’t make it three days. Cakes and cookies you’ve baked for parties disappear overnight.

“Gojo, what happened to the four dozen cookies I made last night”

“Oh um, I ate them”

“ALL OF THEM?”

“Yeah”

“You didn’t see the note?”

“What note?”

“The one that said, “do not eat, naked for party””

“Oh, that’s what that little was, I accidently ate it”

“You ate it?”

“It was in the way of my cookies…”

“What is wrong with you.”

Roommate Gojo who never sleeps and makes sure you don't either.

“Gojo please, its so loud, turn it offfff”

Silence.

“Gojo? Hellloooo”

Of course, he was wearing those god forsaken headphones.

“GOJO TURN IT OFF”

“Hey wtf, what are you doing up? Its 3am, don’t you have work in the morning?”

“Well, I would be sleep, If your game wasn’t blaring through the walls keeping me awake all night”

“Oh, I didn’t know you could hear it, it doesn’t seem that loud to me”

“WELL, IT IS”

“Okay, I’ll turn it down, geez”

“And while you’re at it, go to bed, you’ve been awake for three days now”

“I can’t sleep”

Roommate Gojo who sometimes…crosses the line. Not in the way you might think. He’s never really done anything inappropriate to you, so you can't complain about that. But he’s just friendlier than a roommate probably should be.

“Cmon, its not a big deal”

“Gojo, you’re my friend, but even then, cuddling you to sleep? Doesn’t there seem like there should be a line somewhere?”

“You did it last week?”

“By accident! We fell asleep on the couch; it’s not that deep”

“Y/n please. That’s the best sleep I’ve had in literal YEARS”

“Gojo-”

“PLEASEEEE”

“Okay FINE, but we’re going to bed when I say so”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you”

Roommate Gojo who is a relationship saboteur. He swears every guy you meet isn’t good enough for you, or up to his ridiculous standards. He pesters and breaks you down, until you agree to let him meet the guy, and from that point forward, it’s a downhill battle.

“Gojo, what is wrong with you”

“What? If anything, you should be thanking me”

“THANKING YOU? That’s the third date you’ve RUINED this month alone”

“That guy was a piece of crap; he didn’t even compliment you when he walked in the door”

“Maybe because from the second he stepped foot on the porch you were barreling down his throat, you didn’t even give him a chance to speak!” “Well, if it was me, I wouldn’t have let a single thing stop me from complimenting my women”

“Well, it’s not you”

“But it could be”

“Gojo get out of my face”

Roommate Gojo who’s all bark and no bite. He swears up and down that he was women practically falling at his feet, yet you’ve never seen him go on a single date.

Roommate Gojo who now that you’ve think about it, hasn’t even talked to a single woman since he’s moved in.

“Gojo?”

“What’s up pretty”

“Are you gay?”

“Idk”

“So that’s not a no?”

“Well, it’s not a yes either”

“So, the windows open?”

“Probably not”

“But you said “idk””

“Because I can’t be sure”

“Why not”

“Because I’ve never been with, dated or even kissed a guy before”

“Well, I seriously doubt you’ve “been” with any women either, so how can you even be sure that you like them?”

“Because I like you”

“And now we’re done.”

“Goodnight pretty”

“Goodnight Gojo”

Roommate Gojo who’s defiantly not gay because he just confessed his feelings for you.

“What”

“I said I really like you”

“I really like you too Gojo? You say that all the time though, why are you being so serious about it now”

“No. I LIKE you, like Mikasa likes Eren. Btw are you all caught up on that or??”

“Yeah, and by gods I hope that kind of love never finds me”

“What? They were so great together”

“I mean yeah ideally but literally? No way. They spent their entire lives pinning for each-other, and dancing around the subject, so much so that she literally was forced to mourn him for the rest of her life AFTER having to chop is freaking head off”

“I mean yeah, but like, they still loved each other though”

“Obviously, but when you really think about it-”

“Okay, we’re getting off topic, I said, I REALLY like you”

“Well, I mean, I like you too but what am I supposed to do with this information?”

“Date me”

“Are you gonna ask?”

“Will you let me be your boyfriend?”

“Mmm we’ll see”

“OH CMON.”

border by @grungenglam

comment to be added to tag list!

[shelbgrey]

Hiiii!

Can i ask for a mark sloan x reader (kinda?) but mostly derek sheperd x reader (platonic)

She is younger than derek and she is his person and he is hers, it also helps that she never really had feelings or attraction to mark and always rejects him (maybe she likes someone else in the hospital?) and she is a major merder supporter

I love addison bit she had no right showing up to seattle the way she did💀

Being Derek Shepherd's person headcanons:

Paring: best friend!Derek x reader, Mark Sloan x crush!reader, love interest!Jackson Avery x reader

Summary: the reader is Derek's person and only wants Derek to be happy. Mark is in love with her, but she loves someone else.

A/n: sorry this is so short, I've just lost motivation to write this last few weeks

MasterList ML2

You just couldn't understand how or why this happened, Addison cheated on Derek and now you were following him to Seattle.

You didn't expect Mark to do this, let alone Addison, but you took Derek's side like you knew he'd do for you.

Derek has been your best friend for as long as you could remember, you guys go way back. To the point you knew each other as kids. You were in the same class as Amilea and that's how you met.

But you didn't become friends through her like you'd expect. Amilea was actually really mean to you growing up. Derek nor the rest of the family knew Amilea messed with you everyday at school.

Derek only found out because Amilea was forced to invite you and her whole class to one of her birthday party's. Derek saw Amilea pushing you around and immediately put a stop to it. Even mark helped a little. Then you guys had sorta been best friends ever since.

Anyway, you moved to Seattle and it actually brought you two closer. He bought a trailer to live in and you got an apartment close by. You guys are close but not close enough to live in cramped trailer with him.

You actually loved the fact he found someone new. Meredith seemed to understand Derek better and he seemed to smile more when she's around.

You and Meredith actually became very good friends and you even lived with her and your other intern friends for a while.

You couldn't stand it when Addison showed up, and she had no right to show up the way she did. It hurt you to see Derek in this position. He wanted to do the right thing so badly.

You were the only one he could genuinely open up to without being judged. If your not good with advice that's okay, he's just thankful your there to listen.

You and Addison did used to be good friends, and you'd be lying if didn't say she was like a big sister to you. You never peged her as a cheater, but here we are.

But even though you had Derek's back through thick and thin, it's wasn't hard for you and Addison to fall back into the routine of your old friendship.

But there has been a few times you've become a messenger or they'd use you against each other.

“Hey, don't shoot the messenger Shep” you said rolling your eyes after passing a message to Derek from Addison.

Then fucking Mark showed up...

He's always flirted with you and even though it seems genuine with you, I think it pisses him off you don't fall into his charms like other women do.

You've always known Mark liked you, but unfortunately you never felt the same way. You knew deep down he was a sweet person, but you only saw him as a close friend.

The last time you regected him was when he started the affair with Addison.

But it's always been you in Mark's eyes and it he can't help but be crushed. I wasn't about sleeping with you anymore, it was more than that. He wants to he the one to make you happy, protect you, and wake up with you every morning.

“what's wrong with me? What I wouldn't give to have y/n look at me the way Meredith looks at you” Mark told Derek one day.

Derek has always been over protective of you. When you were a kid he protected you from bullies now he feels he needs to protect you from certain people at the hospital.

Usually he'd be pissed given the circumstances Mark and him were once in, but he couldn't help but feel nothing but sympathy for Mark. He had seen the way he looked at you. It wasn't the lustful look he gave Addison, but actual love.

But Derek wasn't gonna help set you and Mark up. He knew you didn't love Mark and he wasn't about to put you guys in a relationship that wasn't genuine.

What really crushed Mark was when you started showing interest in Jackson Avery. It was huge mental battle because he cared about you both so much.

You didn't realize this, you thought everything was good between you and Mark. You'd never intentionally hurt him. As far as you were concerned you, Mark, and derek had become this amazing trio again.

What you did know is you never felt this way before until you met Jackson. He was kind to you from the start and honestly loved that fact you wanted to be around him because he was just being himself and you weren't choosing to be around him because he was an Avery.

He'll even listen to you drool over him. “Jesus, you might as well jump his bones right now” he joked.

You were usually the shy one, but you actually stated flirting with him first, which he found adorable. “why have a Harper Avery Award when I have an actual Avery to hang out with... Those awards don't have your eyes”

Derek was actually glad you found someone like Jackson. He loved seeing you smile more and just be more up beat.

“can't help it, he's sweet and funny... And have you seen those eyes?”

Mark did learn to move on and when he found lexi he couldn't help but notice things about you and Jackson he hasn't before.

Like he saw the sparkle in your eyes every time you looked at Jackson. Mark notices the way Jackson treats you and cares for you.

He relised he's thankful your happy and in a loving relationship. He's happy too now, so there's no since at being jealous now.

Everything seemed to be at peace now, you had Jackson, Derek and Meredith got married on a post-it note, Mark had lexi, and Addison went to work at a private practice.

[helplesslypurple77]

Day 9- Dazai/Reader with promt Wet Dream

Notes:  this is partly inspired by this wonderful ChuuAtsu fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13091097 

You know, when I write my reader characters, they usually end up not like me at all, but for some reason this Reader ended up like a little too much like me. also no actual sex guys, just dream sex, sorry

There are hands on you. Big hands, tugging at your clothes, desperately, hotly. You want to laugh at him, at his urgent attitude, but you feel the same. Your hands are just as desperate, tangled in that familiar brown hair, that insufferable smirk curved across his face. You hate him, but you never want him to let you go.

“I knew it, you secretly liked me all along.” You despise that voice, it's cocky and arrogant. And you hate how it turns you on. You kiss him harder, trying to shut him up.

It works too, at first. He abandoned his previous task of making fun of you and instead devotes himself to absolutely ruining you, running his fingers through your hair and yanking your close, tugging at the buttons of your shirt. Each button undone represents your pride, falling apart, ruined by the man before you. He pulls away from your mouth, pressing bruising kisses to your neck, his tongue laving over the harsher bites. 

“Hurry up Dazai.” Your voice is embarrassingly raspy, thick with lust as your head falls back, letting out a tiny embarrassing whimper. The man before you chuckles. “My my, impatient are we?” You hate how his teasing turns you on. 

But he obeys, and a clever hand tweaks your nipple, pulling a moan deep out of your throat. You hate him, hate what he does to you.

Another hand is trailing lower now, drawing a sinful path down your front, leaving a hot trail of fire in its wake. It arrives at its goal, and he chuckles at what he finds there.

“You're so wet.” He sounds proud, the insufferable bastard. “And I thought you hated me.”

You glare through the pleasure. “Shut up—”

You interrupt your complaints with a moan as he plays with your pussy, slipping a finger into your twitching hole. You moan, embarrassed of the squelching sounds that give away your real feelings. His fingers are long, longer than yours and they stretch you out nicely as he adds another one, scissoring them and prying your hole open. A rough padded thumb draws circles on your clit, driving you closer and closer to insanity, to the edge of the metaphorical cliff. 

“More, Osamu. Give me more.” You can feel his dick twitch in his pants at that name, and you take pride in the fact that he’s just as affected as you are. 

“Yes, my Belladonna, I shall obey your every command.” You hate that stupid nickname, the one he gives to all the women he flirts with, but never gave to you. You hate how your heart clenches with happiness. He slips a third finger in and your back arches, moans tumbling out of your mouth at a higher frequency. 

You grip his shoulders, one leg wrapped around his waist as his long fingers bring you closer and closer to the brink, your stubborn pride falling from you with every thrust of his fingers. And then, he finds it, that cushy spot that makes your back arch and you cum with a cry of his name.

“I love you, Osamu.”

˚⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ 

You wake with a strange feeling of dissatisfaction, as if you're missing something. A strange wanting feeling, a familiar aching in your gut that disappears with a good shower. You take your time getting ready, because even though you’re late you know someone will be later than you. And you refuse to leave into the world looking like a caveman. You style your hair, put on some everyday makeup and make some eggs and toast, trying the new strawberry jam Kenji gave you. 

It's not until you're locking the door to the dorms behind you, purse in hand, that the dream suddenly rushes back into your brain. The hot steamy details and the worst part, the very last words. 

‘I love you, Osamu’

Fuck, your screwed.

˚⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ 

The Detective Agency is hard at work when you step quietly through the door. You're offered the usual greetings, which you return with less than your usual enthusiasm, but if anyone notices, they don't say. You put your purse down, sitting at your desk between Atsushi and that damn Dazai, and pointedly ignore the latter man. You shoot Atsushi a smile however, you adore the boy. 

“Morning Atsushi.” Atsushi shoots you a smile. “Morning Name, do you have the paperwork for yesterdays mission? Kunikida told me to make copies in case Dazai loses them again.”

“Yeah, thats a good idea.” You nod, handing over said papers with a smile. “He totally would to.” You and Atsushi share a smile as an indignant squawk sounds on your other side. “What are you implying! I'm being egregiously slandered. I would never lose anything important anyway.” You avoid looking at him entirely, not even granting him a response. Atsushi shoots you an odd look, but humors you with a sigh in Dazai’s direction. “Yes Dazai, we all know you would. Thanks for these Name.” He takes the papers away with a smile and you turn to your desk as the door slams behind him. 

It's silent in the office, the sounds of typing and the beeping of Ranpo’s switch, and you're filling out reports for lost dogs when a familiar bandaged hand comes into your vision. 

“Nameeee~ why are you avoiding meee~” You can feel the blush creeping up the back of your neck, and flashes of those hands in a different context flash through your mind. You keep trying, not looking at him. 

“I'm not ignoring you. I'm doing reports.” You type faster, taking out your embarrassment on your computer. 

“No, see? You won't even look at me.” Infuriatingly, the man simply does not leave you alone. You sigh, maybe if you focus on how infuriating your find him you can survive without thinking of that dream again, and those stupid fucking words.

Your turn, glancing at him. “No, see, I'm looking at you.” And of course, this proved to be a huge mistake. Dazai’s handsomeness, it's always been obvious. But most of the people in the armed detective agency are handsome, for some reason. So to you it's always been easy to ignore. But now, you can't ignore it any more. The sun is pouring through the windows, casting a golden glow on his brown hair, highlighting the thousands of colored strands all blending together into brown. It highlights his eyes too, turning that brown transparent and beautiful, shining in the light. He’s wearing that stupid outfit as usual, but he’s hung his coat over the edge of the chair, and rolled his sleeves up and his delicate hands are on display. Damn those stupid sexy hands with their long fingers and blue veins. Damn Dazai and his stupid sexyness. You hate him for it. 

Worse however, are his lips. Because as soon as you look at them all you can think about is that dream, how he devoured your kisses, how he worshiped your neck. And now he’s biting them, drawing his teeth across them and leaving little indents across his top lip. You want to kiss them away.

Unknown to you, Dazai’s having his own little problems. You look at him, and you blink slowly, giving him the most dangerous pair of fuck me eyes he’s ever seen. You always look pretty, but now it's three times worse. The sun is highlighting you, and you glow like a goddess, coming down to slay the foolish mortals who worship her. He can imagine you as a goddess. Dressed in robes that hug your curves with every step, punishing the foolish mortals who desire her impurely. Demanding they worship you. He would gladly fall beneath your feet and worship you. Let you sit on his face and smother him with your thighs and pussy. He would beg for it. 

And your eyes are begging him to lean forward and kiss you, to selfishly steal the breath from your lungs, to take you on this very desk right here. He could imagine that too. Your pretty form bent over a desk, papers and office supplies falling to the floor as he fucks you. Your face twisted in pleasure as you screamed his name. His name, and only his. He swallows, wetting his throat and biting his lip. He cant breath, and he feels arousal start in his gut.

“Can you guys stop eye fucking each other and get back to work? Kunikida looks like he’s ready to burst a blood vessel.” Ranpo startles you out of your staring, and you turn with a glare at the older detective. “Im not eye fucking him. What are you even talking about?” Dazai jumps in rather halfheartedly. “I mean i could understand if you were eye fucking me, i am very handsome arent i.” You want to smack him. Instead you turn to your desk and resume your reports. Your mother always said violence was never the answer. 

But you’ve learned your lesson. From now on, you will do your best to avoid Dazai Osamu, lest you make a mistake you will regret.

˚⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ 

Over the next few days you learned something important. Avoiding Dazai Osamu proved to be an impossible task. Because for some reason, Kunikida insisted on putting the two of you together for missions. For reasons unknown he had somehow decided that the two of you worked fabulously well together and to pair you on every mission so forth. 

And honestly a You from a different day might actually agree. It actually made sense. You were a combat focused Gifted, and Dazai was not. You were hardworking and followed directions and Dazai did neither. You wouldn't wander off the flirt with every woman who looked his way and Dazai would. Although, for some reason his serial flirting had stopped recently, and you hoped it was done for good. 

But, the You of today, who wanted to avoid this man were being thwarted at every turn, by Kunikida of all people. You had bribed Ranpo silent, because you were certain he knew about The Dream™, with a limited edition cake you bribed off Kyouka. And you were sure that after you avoided Dazai for a while you would eventually forget about The Dream™ and this stupid crush you had developed. But you weren't even given that privilege, because after One Day™, of avoiding him you were promptly put together on every mission, be it a missing dog or an actual fight. It was like you were joined at the hip. 

And here you were today, joining Ranpo on a murder case because you were assigned to go with Ranpo and then Dazai had made a fuss and said he wanted to go because, and you're directly quoting here, ‘hot policewomen’. That boiled your blood for numerous reasons. So here you are, standing behind Ranpo as he argued with the police, glaring at the man beside you.

“Why are you mad anyway?” Dazai whisper hisses at you. You're standing in the lobby of the police office. Minuro happened to be out today, and the replacement police chief, Chief Sugawara, seemed oddly hesitant to let Ranpo solve the case. You side glare at him, whispering right back. “Why did you have to come? And all for some hot police women.” There aren't even any women present, for some reason. You guess they have better things to do than argue with a bunch of detectives. And you're all for women. You know how the saying goes, ‘women support women until women stop supporting women’ but you hate to admit your glad. You would really dislike watching Dazai flirt with another pretty woman. It would hurt you more than you wanted to admit.

It kept you up at night. Embarrassing thoughts like: ‘why doesn't he flirt with me, he flirts with them.’ soon arrived at: ‘i guess i'm not pretty enough to be flirted with.’ that just added to your growing insecurity with your looks. You hated that he had that power over you. You hated that you allowed him to have that power over you. 

(You see, reader, you were so deep down in your own delusions, that you missed the signs. The looks men, and women gave you. Looks of awe, even just stares of admiration. The flirting that you dismissed as pleasantries, even Dazai’s lingering stares and rather obvious feelings. But I put it in for story reasons so just bear it for now.)

And so, here you were, forced to stand against the wall of the police department, bored out of your mind and still a little too reminded of The Dream™, because for some reason, you had been plagued by wet dreams for a few days now. And it was odd, while the first one seemed(as embarrassing as it was) thoroughly of your own creation, the others started not resembling anything you would like. Also, last night Dazai had been replaced by some guy you didn't even know? And the night before that it was the President. Now, the President was a handsome man, sure, but you had never even thought of him that way in passing, so something odd was going on for sure. 

And then, the Armed Detective Agency had received today's job. A request that stood out to you as soon as you read it. Apparently, people were dying mysteriously in the middle of the night. And, you're literally never going to believe this, apparently most of them had reported Wet Dreams the nights before to their close friends. So yeah, you had quickly volunteered. Strangely enough, a few people in the detective Agency, namely Atsushi and Naomi, had reported strange dreams.(Atsushi with extremely flushed cheeks and Naomi with, ehem, interesting details about finding it strange that the dream wasn't about her brother. Atsushi hadn’t mentioned anyone, but had said there were a few different people.)

Ranpo had been specifically requested, and the police dept had asked for a combat oriented Gifted, and so here you are. But Dazai had insisted on going along, for reasons unknown. Minoru had been the requester, but when you had arrived a worried police officer had quickly informed you that Minoru was out and Chief Sugawara didn't want ‘some private eye’ taking charge of the case. You wondered, for the thousandths time, why most police officers had a similar outtake on this. You assumed pride. 

You hear Ranpo’s prideful laughter, and he joins you with Chief Sugawara. You assume he’s done proving his worth, anyway. 

“So, how’d it go? We on the job?” You retuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Ranpo nods. “Oh course, Chief Sugawara came to realize that he was better off with a master detective on this job, and happily succeeded the case to me.” 

Chief Sugawara, a grumpy looking man in his mid forties, sighs. “I wouldn't say happily, but this cast has been bothering us, so we’ll welcome your help.” He starts walking down the hallway, and you and Dazai follow him and Ranpo into a small room. It's an odd room, almost empty with a small cot in the corner and a chair beside it. Windows stream sunlight into the room. The door shuts behind Chief Sugawara with a resounding slam. 

“So, I already know who the guy is, but I got some bad news.” Ranpo leans against the wall, unwrapping a lollipop he pulled from god knows where. “His ability allows him to infiltrate dreams and take any form. He then extracts sexual energy and kills them.” 

“Ok…” Dazai draws out the word. “So let's get the dude.”

“We can't.” Chief Sugawara jumps in, letting out a long suffering sigh. “He doesn't actually have a physical form anymore. He’s dead.” 

Confused silence falls. Ranpo sighs. “I'll elaborate for your poor minds. The man actually died a couple years ago. But his ability allows him to live on in the population's consciousness.” Ranpo says. “And he thinks that if he extracts enough life energy he can have a body again. He’s essentially living on through his ability right now.” 

“Ok, so how do we get him?” You have a feeling you know, but you ask anyway in case you're actually wrong. Ranpo smirks, and in that moment you know that your hunch was right. 

“Remember how earlier at the meeting you said that you’ve been having weird dreams as well?” You nod, avoiding Dazai’s eyes. “Well, it's obvious you're his next target. So, the plan is that you go to sleep and as soon as he arrives Dazai will neutralize the ability, therefore ‘killing’ it.” 

Yep, you knew it. You sigh. As much as you really, really, really don't want to do this, it seems like a good plan. Just embarrassing. Chief Sugawara runs a hand through his messy brown hair. “So Miss, are you willing to do this for us? You are definitely not required to.” 

You nod, sitting down on the cot with a weary, weary, sigh. “Yeah, I'll do it.” A rare smile makes its way across Chief Sugawara’s face, and he hands you a small pill. “A sleeping pill.” He says, as Ranpo begins to drag him out of the room. 

“Wait Ranpo, how will Dazai know when to neutralize it.” Ranpo smirks, pushing Chief Sugawara out of the door. “Oh, he’ll know. And Name? Tell him to take another form, maybe the President again, and not your crush ok? No distractions.” And with that he leaves, slamming the door behind you. You are left alone, with Dazai. You swallow the pill with the water they gave you in relative awkward silence. Dazai pulls the chair up beside the cot, a weird smile painted across his face. 

“So, name, I hear you have a crush?” You really can't believe you're here, having a discussion with your crush about your crush. You sigh. “Yeah, I guess. It's embarrassing.” You grimace that makes its way across his face as you lay down, but his face is back to a smile as you feel your vision waver. 

“Dazai?” You say before you slip away. “Yes, Bella?” 

“Don't leave me alone please.” He smiles. “I won't Belladonna.”

‘He called me Belladonna.’ Is the last thought you have before you slip away. 

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

The scene you step into is familiar. The Armed Detective Agency office. Its evening, golden hour light slides through the windows, painting the floor with sunset colores. And, waiting for you with open arms is, of course, the President. You should just wait for Dazai to get rid of him, but you really want to see the limits of his ability. You hatch a mischievous plan. The Not President shoots you a very out of character smirk. “Ready for some of that good good lovin’ babygirl?” You almost choke. 

“I dont want to fuck the President.” You say, sitting down on the edge of someone’s desk. “I don't even have a crush on him, why would you choose him?”

The Not President shrugs. “He’s hot, and subconsciously you would totally fuck him. But whatever.” the figure shifts and morphs, and another familiar figure is standing before you. “Ranpo? Really?” 

“Fine” The scenery changes now, and you're in an unfamiliar office with a familiar 5 ‘3 redhead standing before you.

“Nope. I dont like short men.”

Not Chuuya shrugs. “You sure Darlin? All his height went somewhere else…”

“No.” 

“Fine, your call.” A flash, and you're in another office. You shake your head. 

“Definitely not Mori.”

The scenery shifts again, and you're floating in an odd golden ball with only a bed. A man is standing before you. He looks a little like Mori’s long lost cousin. 

You sigh. “I don't even know this guy.”

“And?” The man’s voice is accented, russian maybe.

“Just change it, it's my dream.”

The scenery shifts again, and now you're in the very room you're sleeping in right now. And advancing towards you, because of course, is Dazai.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

You look pretty while you're sleeping. And you're not moving, and that means you're not avoiding him. Dazai hates that you’re avoiding him, and you're also apparently having sex dreams about the president, while all of his dreams have been plagued by you in various states of undress for a long time. But, Dazai can admit the dream guy is obviously not affecting him, all of his dreams are clearly of his own creation, and not constant. 

You've plagued his dreams for a while now, ever since he realizes he had a small(massive) crush on you. In the beginning those dreams were innocent. You would hold his hand, tell him you loved him and maybe plant a kiss chaste kiss on his lips. But then, the Armed Detective Agency took a small vacation to the beach, for some reason.

He spent that day throwing sand at Kunikida and spending an unhealthy amount of time staring at you in that stupid skimpy bathing suite. It was truly a blessing and a curse because while he gotta see it, so did every other person on the beach that day. That night, the first of the dreams came. You, riding him in the very swimsuit on an empty beach, looking radiant and devastating a top him. He woke up guilty and hard that morning, and decided to take a long, cold, shower instead of dealing with it himself, because again, he was a little guilty. That had been the first of many, many dirty dreams. 

But of course you're apparently spending your sex dreams with the president instead of him, because life is unfair. And Dazai knows deep down that he doesnt deserve you, he knows that very well, but he still hopes. And hope is a cruel, unfair thing. 

You start twisting on the cot, your lips parting in something like a whimper. Dazai stands at attention, waiting for some kind of sign for him to use No Longer Human. But then, the moans start. 

Dazai almost chokes, gripping the side of the chair tightly because of course you would moan, and of corse Ranpo decided to subject him to this devine torture. And of course he decided to throw a fit today to come with you because he loved you and he didn't want you to avoid him anymore. Because now, he knows what your moans sound like. He’s never going to be able to look at you the same again. And now he has more wet dream fodder, like he needed anymore. 

“Oh, oh feels so good~” 

He’s going to die, he’s hard. He’s going to hell. He’s going to burn in hell and all because he’s a horn dog.

“Mmm, so, so good.” 

You're twisting in bed, and Dazai wonders if he should use No Longer Human. He probably should, right? 

“So good Osamu, treat me so good~” Dazai chokes. And grips your hand, activating No Longer Human. His mind is in shambles as the moans stop, because you just said his name.

And then one more fatal sentence escapes your mouth. “No, don't go ‘samu. I love you.” And then, you open your eyes.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ 

It's late by the time you and Dazai start walking back home. After you had woken up the station had been abuzz with activity. You had been made to submit a mission report, reporting on what had happened in the dream world. Well most of it anyway. And Dazai is yanked away from you for other reports. It had been odd, honestly. When you had woken up he had been holding your hand, the light of No Longer Human still fading around you, with a shell shocked expression carved across his face.

The man of the hour clears his throat as you arrive as the Agency dorms, stopping you before as you unlock your door. 

“Um, Name.” He looks uncharacteristically unsure, like he’s weighing his words. “I have something to tell you.” 

You nod, fiddling with your keys. “What's up?” He’s wringing his hands, and this is all very strange and out of character. He clears his throat again.

“Well, I was wondering if you might want to go out to dinner with me.” 

You frown. “With the Agency? You should ask Kunikida, he’s in charge of scheduling and stuff like that, not me.”

“No.” Dazai looks almost timid. “As a date. I like–no, I love you.”

You drop your keys in shock. “What? Is this a joke? Because it's not funny.”

“No.” 

You shake your head, pinching yourself subtly. You literally have to be still dreaming now. But no, it hurts a lot. Dazai is still standing before you, trying to hide that unsure look with his usual smirk of confidence. It's failing, miserably.

“So, do you want to? Because i can understand if you don't, i—

You shut him up with a kiss. “Yes, I'd love to.” You say when you finally pull away. Still gripping his cheeks between your hands. Dazai smiles, a real genuine smile and dives back for another kiss.

End Notes: Dazai is a dramatic whore. He talks like me. Definitely a former theater kid right there. Also at some point in this fic i start drastically overusing the trademark™ sign, and i love it and it's so fun. Also the cloud ☁ emoji is so cute.

[bridgertonblue]

I love the fact that before the trailer even dropped I said we were getting a Jane Austen’s Emma inspired season of Bridgerton and they straight up NAME DROPPED EMMA IN EPISODE 1!

I literally SCREAMED when Eloise said that that was what she was reading, and now that I’ve had more time to really think about it it makes her story arc/mannerisms in this season make a ton more sense. She’s always peaking around corners, asking Colin probing questions, and openly engaging in idle gossip about the situation between Penelope and Colin. And yes, the Whistledown of it all, I get that, but when you add in the fact that she’s reading Emma, a story about two life long friends/neighbors who fall in love, it makes her nosiness make ALL THE SENSE.

She NEVER noticed anything between Colin and Penelope before this season, she was always way more occupied in finding Whistledown or talking to Theo about women’s suffrage, etc etc. But she picks up a romance novel, and she almost immediately clocks into what’s going on between Colin and Penelope.

I can understand why she’s enjoyed Emma, especially after what happened between her and Pen because Emma is largely about platonic friendship. Yes, two friends(Knightley and Emma) fall in love at the end, but the majority of the novel is Emma trying to maintain her friendship with Harriet, who she absolutely cherishes. Emma, out of concern/a little selfishness, tries to set up Harriet with a well to do guy who lives in town so she can keep Harriet close to her, societally speaking. It fails miserably and Harriet gets hurt, which destroys Emma. She tries to set her up with Frank Churchill(oddly enough the guy everyone thought she’d end up dating) but Harriet falls for Knightley instead.

Knightley, Emma’s oldest friend/friend of the family(technically brother in law?), someone who she’s known since childhood, her closest neighbor, the guy she see’s nearly everyday, someone she never thought would ever marry because he’s always at her house and never talks or shows interest in any other women(but her which she’s oblivious too). Someone who always finds her and talks to her at every ball and every gathering, someone who’s opinion she values more then everyone else’s. And Harriet, her girl bestie, is in love with him, and oh god, what is this feeling? Why is watching Knightley and Harriet walk around and chat so painful?? Then Emma realizes, “oh shit, I’m in love with my best friend, I’m in love with Knightley”.

And when Knightley finally gets around to telling Emma how he feels, she’s not ecstatic or thrilled or happy, she’s UPSET because it means her bestie, Harriet, is about to be hurt by her actions AGAIN. The man she’s in love with tells her he loves her in a beautiful passionate speech, and all she can think about is “oh god what about Harriet??” Emma apolgizes and tries to fix things and Harriet finds a way to forgive her, and the weight of that forgiveness and having her friend back almost means more to her then getting to be with Knightley.

So, yeah, I can see how Eloise would connect with that novel. I can see how she’d open her eyes and notice the similarities between Knightley/Emma and Colin/Penelope, I can see how she’d enjoy the story of two girl besties fighting and figuring out a way to move forward and be friends again.

Anyway, that’s my rant. If you made it to the bottom of this long ass post then bless you!

[urfavoritedcwhore]

henry winter as your secret boyfriend//headcannons//some sexual

he hates being late, and hates even more when you make him late.

let’s you smoke his cigarettes with no fuss.

he’s beat up a guy at a party for bumping into you once.

he knows that your smart, but refuses to admit it.

constantly tells you things in latin you don’t understand.

he finds it extremely unattractive when you swear, but also a bit cute when you do it out of excitement.

he holds your hand under your desks in greek class if he thinks your having a bad day.

will often talk in french to you in front of the others if he’s trying to have a private conversation with you.

“y/n, ai-je laissé ma ceinture dans ton dortoir la dernière fois que je suis venu ?” “je ne sais pas Henry, tu peux vérifier ce soir lors de ta visite”

he’s endured many days of watching Richard flirt with you

he’s always getting mad and saying your flirting back when all your doing is being polite.

switches from english to greek when he’s speaking with you drunk, and never realizes it.

you think it’s incredibly funny

julian is the only person who knows about your relationship.

you would tell the others, if you thought it wouldn’t make things super awkward.

francis walked in on you two once having a romantic dinner at henry’s apartment, but was too drunk to realize what was going on.

bunny constantly jokes about how henry can’t get women to you.

when you two are alone he’s constantly holding your hand, your waist, your face, or just simply cuddling with you.

he tells you everyday that your the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

nsfw headcannons:

this man is a top, no doubt about it.

he’s usually gentle with you, but if you piss him off, you’re getting badly punished.

once you were acting extra bratty with him at dinner with all the others around.

you weren’t allowed to cum for a week after that😔

he’s a boob guy

if he’s feeling extra spicy, he’ll play with you under the table at charles and camilas weekly dinners.

“y/n, why are you squirming so much?” “sorry camila i- *fake cough to cover up a moan* im just feeling a little hot.”

he never looks at you while he’s doing this. just continues his conversation and eats his dinner with an expressionless face.

has tied you up before and overstimulated you for hours, just because you said that he was too gentlemen like in bed.

“do you still think i’m too much of a gentleman darling?” “oh, looks like someone can’t speak. are you gonna say your safe word?”.

you never say your safe word.

he smokes and shares his cigarette with you while you two are in missionary.

missionary is his favorite position when he’s being gentle. he likes to be able to watch your face when you cum and feel you moaning into his mouth while he fucks you.

when he’s not being gentle, your legs WILL be on top of his shoulders. he likes knowing that you’re completely at his mercy and can push your legs backwards and slide you off his dick if he doesn’t want you to cum.

you two used protection for the first few times you slept together, but he took you to the gynecologist and paid for you to get an implant after you both tried it raw for the once and loved it.

you’ve woken up a million times to him touching you as he’s reading a book. (don’t worry you talked about it before and consented to it)

he doesn’t look up from his book until he feels you tightening around his fingers and knows your about to cum.

he moans especially loud when he’s drunk.

he loves to praise you.

“look at you, taking all of me like a good girl.” “you think you can cum for me one more time darling? ohh good job baby”

after sex he’s always gonna fix himself, and you, a glass of scotch before getting back in bed and reading to you until you fall asleep.

[nayatarot777]

how can you co-create with the universe to attract fortune to yourself? 🪡🎨 • pac 🎴

if you’d like a personal reading, then see info here

subscribe to the patreon if you’re interested in daily messages from spirit, weekly pac readings for “the week ahead”, exclusive extended readings to the tumblr PACs, exclusive pac readings - such as 18+ and love pac readings - new moon + full moon readings, plus more. i’m on there everyday, just doing my thing 😂

{• pile one •}

cards: the hierophant, knight of wands, 3 of cups

spirit is suggesting that you focus on finding a community that connects people based on their faith. a community of people who are focused on sharing knowledge and downloads that they’re receiving from the divine. whether this is a spiritual community, a self-help community, maybe even a religious community (please be careful with any communities like this, because when you’re not, that’s when you fall into the trap of a cult 🙃). i’m also seeing that you guys could create your own community of people on your own platform in which people are able to learn valuable lessons from you - especially about friendship, happiness, “sisterhood”, i’m hearing. i’m seeing jupiter in the 4th house/jupiter in cancer, so if you guys have either of those placements (or maybe sagittarius in the 4th, moon in sagittarius, something that mixes cancerian and jupiterian energy together) then your abundance is tied to womanhood and femininity. so surrounding yourself with likeminded women/feminines or helping them in some way will bring a lot of abundance to you. i’m also hearing “changing people’s definition of happiness”. motivating people to follow their own morals and values, leading you to do the same.

{• pile two •}

cards: 2 of swords, knight of pentacles, strength

you attract abundance when you’re in your ego. not when you let your ego control you, but when you control your ego and know how to direct your strengths into some type of creative process that you can persistently focus on. when you focus on taming your ego so that you can use it to your advantage. you need to honour your ego a lot more. i feel like, with the 2 of swords, spirit is saying that you’re listening to external noise from the outside world wayyy too much. you don’t need to look for direction and guidance from other people. other people can’t help you. you need to listen to your intuition. certain communities (especially the “new age”, phony ass ‘spiritual community’) will teach you that it’s a negative to be in your ego. no tf it’s not. your ego is your identity. who you are. if you don’t know who you are, then you’re a nobody. a pushover. with no morals, no personal values, no backbone (which is probably why those same communities promote toxic positivity and being a doormat for the sake of appearing like you’re all ‘love and light’ and shit). fuck all of that. you need to have patience with yourself when developing your ego because you may not even know who you are currently. once you do, you’ll find your courage and strength to listen to your intuition and invest into what it’s telling you. your ego is your life force. feed it with valuable energy by valuing it - regardless of other people’s opinions. only insecure people who don’t know who they are will get triggered by you. who gives a damn about them though? this is your life. start living it as the person who you truly want to be.

{• pile three •}

cards: the emperor, queen of swords, 8 of pentacles

you guys are extremely intelligent people. you need to find confidence in your knowledge and what you know that you know - especially with something practical that you’re trying to master or perfect. you have an eye for what needs to be improved in your day-to-day, practical life or in your business. whenever the emperor comes out with the 8 of pentacles, it definitely indicates entrepreneurship to me as a reader. and this entrepreneurship could be surrounding honesty, truth, giving direct messages to people so that they can improve their life. this could be life coaching, motivational speaking (especially with this emperor (aries energy) mixed with this queen of swords). you guys know how to pump people up to start working on themselves and aspects of their life as much as possible. and you guys are naturals at this. start just posting random posts of encouragement or motivation whenever you get the inspiration to, and i feel like you’ll attract a lot of people to you who are willing to give you abundance in exchange for the energetic abundance that you give to them. you can really monetise your words and your motivation due to the guidance that you’re able to give people about their sense of self and how that relates to their manifestations/goals + achievements. this aries energy could also be about physical activity - like fitness training. you know how to stay on people’s necks so that they complete a task thoroughly and over and over again to the point where they perfect it. and you can do that for yourself. feed into that.

[justcallmesakira]

Omgomgomgomg Sakira for your Valentines event, can I request Angst prompt 11 (''Soulless roses purge from my mouth, with your lips on another womans one'') for reader and Dazai please? I'm a sucker for unrequited love owueuaisha but please take your time with this request! 💖

"Soulless roses purge from my mouth, with your lips om another womans one"

Prompt 11

Sypnosis: Really, hanahaki symptoms for a man who flirts with every single woman? How pathetic and foolish can you be?...

Genre: full angst

Dazai x reader

Warnings: vomiting obv since its hanahaki disease, no comfort(?), implied jealousy, suicide, slight implication to "No longer human", happy ending!!! :D

A/N: Tysm silver for requesting!! i tried my best to finish it in time but i am very sick rn so---i decided to give a happy ending since i was feeling merciful today :33

»~⋆ Hanahaki Syndrome˚⋆« -Shiki Miyoshino 𝟎:𝟑𝟒 〇────── 𝟎:𝟓𝟖 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻ ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

You loved him, alot actually.

But was he yours to begin with? Did you really believe he could be yours?

Dazai was sort of a playboy you knew. Everyone in the agency warned you about his tactics and charms.

"Dont worry, kunikida-kun! i am not going to fall in love with dazai, hes just a collegue at the end of the day!" You replied to kunikida when he warned you about the bandaged man. "Still, y/n I know you probably wont even get in contact with that guy, but i will just remind you of that womanaizer" Kunikida said with a serious tone, he was not very angry or anything but simple putting out care for you.

But did you listen? Because those petals say otherwise.

You entered the cafe downstairs with a beaming smile. You made Dazai a bento box today, if anything you even used various food items to draw out Dazai`s pretty face over the rice.

“Ah Bella!!! I can’t believe it, you should totally come to my apartment tonight”

You were expecting the same waitress he would flirt with everyday but to your surprise when your eyes met the couple sitting on one of the tables, you were shocked.

A woman, perhaps a bit older than the man flirting himself, pretty amber eyes and shiny long black hair.

You couldn’t decide whether you should go up to dazai and give him the gift you worked hard on or just leave them be. You hated it when he flirted with other women..a bit too much.

it hurts you, really it did to see him with someone other than you. Were you not worthy of him? Were you just an another girl who was the bandaged man’s doll to toy around with? Were those moments when he excitedly held your hands just a lie? Were those missions you protected him with your life just for the agency..?

Was coughing out all your pain in flowers really worth it? For him? For Dazai Osamu? For your ‘only love’?

No! It couldn’t be! Of course he would love you! Dazai would surely give you all the affection and love you needed, right?

While you were lost in your thoughts all of a sudden the pain you were feeling in your head started to form in your heart, and that heart dropped down to your stomach which instantly made you drop the bag and run to the washroom, the urge to puke coming out of your mouth.

Your steps slowed down as you reached the basin

"Oh god this isn`t happening, shit shit"

cough cough

Petals of a crimson rose chunked out of your mouth forcefully as you kept coughing, You swore you could feel a lump feeling in your throat as if a huge, full bloomed sweetbriar would pour out of you and into the sink.

You wanted to cry, why did this hurt. This feeling of being unheld and sore for someone else's touch and love who will probably never even look at you in the same light,,,It hurt more then the never ending fir you were currently expreriencing.

After an painful epiisode of coughing , a huge floret perhaps the size of a human eye lumped out of your throat which left you panting as your knees felt weak against the counter and you washed you face with some water.

The pain was so unbearable you had to fight the urge to rip off ur throat. Just looking at your reflection on the mirror lets you see why Dazai doesnt want you.

"Y/N-chan!! are you alright?" a familiar voice of a young tiger boy calls out to which you reply, "Ah! dont worry A-atsushi-kun i am A-OK!!"

Your voice shouts back cheerfully still, the sickness could be heard in your tone even after you go out and see dazai with a cheeky smile holding the bento box in his hand. He seemed to have found your little gift.

"Y/NNNNN!!! you seem sick ya alright? Also is this for me?? Your so sweet yknow! i could almost give out my heart to you!" The man says with stars in his eyes, quite the pretty set of eyes you thought. "Ah- thats r-right dazai i made it specifically for you, i really..really hope you like it" you somehow blurt out, god was it agonizing to know that that sweet soft smile doesn`t belong to you even if its a mask, a mere fake smile.

It hurts...alot to know this harsh reality.

Why were you so weak? You had questioned yourself each time your pathetic condition got worse, each a new shade of crimson indicating it was getting worse.

The day went normal, the ladies` man flirting with the woman from the bar across the street from what you had heard her name was Tsuneko, a pretty girl with a pretty smile, Oh how badly you wished you were in her place. In her shoes, laughing and sneaking off to who knows where with that bandaged man.

Atsushi noticed your drowsy eyes and gloomy demeaner but didn`t comment anything only stopping by a few times to check whether you were okay or not, he was sweet and caring, he really was.

Too bad you didn`t listen to everyones words.

During lunch hour you saw how dazai opened your bento box which you put your heart to with care and started munching on a crab leg, he loved crabs.

You were happy even for a moment that atleast his hue on his cheek brightened until you realized a certain someone was accompanying him.

It was like a illness blooming from a dying wilted seed.

Slowly dazai placed a chunk of the seasoned crab on her tongue, Tsuneko.

"Wow, Osamu this is really good did your friend make this?" she inquired in delight. "I know? god shes so sweet!" the man snickered and continued to talk more about his friends, or so what he calls them.

By time you had seen how intimate they got, their secret walks, the night, everything just because how dazai told you how he found the perfect suicide partner.

Tsuneko Tsuneko, Tsuneko, Tsuneko...

Everything was about her yet you still couldn`t loathe the deary couple, they looked like actual soulmates. Who were you to interfere?

You had a little crush now your hating on some sweet woman, seriously how pathetic can love really make you be you had wondered on your final moments.

Days turned into weeks

Flirts turned into touches,

Petals turned into full bloomed roses.

And still your heart didn`t stop beating rapidly around him, even though you tried avoiding him can your love for him be avoided?

It was painful, how longer, why did god allow you to love.

You coughed out another rose on your bathroom sink, a black one this time. The colour of mourning, whereas you mourn for your dead love, one which wilted away like a sad rose in a garden of white lilies long ago yet you still water it. It has been so long that you had beared with this pain, everyone`s hearts have its limits.

You could only feel tears brimming down your face like a glistening waterfall as your legs gave in to the soreness of your body and the aching of your throat.

"Why..dazai, why me..."

It was time...

Dazai and Tsuneko shared many similarities, in which both of them were poor, unhappy souls. Both of them shared lots and lots of conversations which escalated to a funs and giggles to words of a deeper route.

You could have also conversed with him, but he had already deemed you to be a normal and simple daisy, not a beautiful roseate with petals growing out of passion for him.

"Tsuneko, join me in a double suicide, if i have to die i want to die with the woman of my dreams." Dazai declared to her, holding her soft hands in his dry bandaged ones. It seemed the whether will deteriote like a corpse today by the way the clouds are looking.

Both of them stood on the sandy meadows of yokohams grounds with tsuneko in a delightful expression.

"Oh dazai, yes, yes lets do it dazai for i too am sick of this body" Tsuneko smiled, a dead smile. Tsuneko loved dazai and maybe he loved her back too so it would only be appropriate for them to die together.

And as the two lovers slowly collided with the water, your body stood with grace in a flowing white dress slid upon your scarred body.

"Soulless roses purge from my mouth with your lips on another womans one." you tune out softly in despair and a voice of shallowness which you wish you could use to sing for dazai and for him to look at you the way he looked at Tsuneko when she sang on the bar stage.

Your eyes were empty, you can finally be free like a bird in the sky with no strings of a human heart attached with you. The blood splattered on your dress made you looked etheral with your open hair flowing in the harsh wind under the grey skies.

A set of bare feet on the bridge`s railing. Pitch black empty eyes, a rosy and murdered dress and at least...Peace.

You fell hard onto the lake, you were used to this though. This bottomless deep sea of emptiness was nothing compared to the sea of agony you felt when you saw him.

Two bodies were later found at the lake, both gone cold from the freeze of the atmosphere.

A woman was also found it was indicated that she tried to end her life for her eyes seemed to be filled with agony when the poilce found her and somewhat saved her.

"Dazai, my...baby dazai" the woman sniffed and cried on the ground with sirens being loud in the background.

"Ma`am would you please tell me who this dazai is and what is your name?" a female police calmly asked the hysterical woman on the ground.

"Tsuneko.." sniff sniff "Dazai, we promised..to die together, why..?" she cried bitterly. There was only her who they found but after a few moments just when they were about to send tsuneko to the poilce officer they found two corpses run cold from the freezing water.

A brown haired man with a beige coat and another young woman with a gorgeous white dress and blood splattered all over the fabric, it seemed like she vomitted out the blood.

"They.. hahh. They were meant for each other weren`t they..." tsuneko said with a somewhat tired yet relived smile. Its true she was disappointed she couldn`t die with her loved but at least she got to see two people who had coughed out flowers of kinds for each other get intangled, even in death.

Even though both the corpses went cold somehow a glow of light and passion radiated from them for both of them had a smile on their faces infact another thing they identified which was common was that in the pockets of both bodies were an overflowing amount of sooty crimson roses.

The petals weren`t worth all the fight but at least you knew that the same person you coughed for had the same condition.

A/N: Fun Fact Fiction time! (i luv doing these lol-): If you didnt know, tsuneko is actually a character from Dazai Osamus book "No longer human". She was the one who commited double suicide with Oba but oba was the one who survived and tsuneko died which mean..yknow :)

Divider crds!: @plutism

Tags!: @silverbladexyz @saelique @atlasnessie @biscuits-spooky-corner @tojifile @ruanais @riiwrites @tsuunara @typcallysid14 @heartsfourdazai @elizais (Do let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my taglist in my inbox!)

[prodbyton]

baddie gf x somewhat of a loser sohee 😩😩

literally me and sohee 🤭

but sohee with a baddie gf and no one really knows how he pulled but you both are equally whipped for each other and thats all that matters

he loves showing you off, he’s posting you everyday and he always has his arm around you in public, he’s so happy that he gets to say “yeah thats my girlfriend”

he’s not even a complete loser, he’s still popular but he’s a little dorky and he’s not very confident in talking to women. you were definitely someone he didn’t expect to like him back, but he still wanted to try shooting his shot. you didn’t have to think too hard about it, he’s cute and the way he was basically vibrating from how nervous he was you knew you had to have him

i feel like sohee likes the fact that you’re more on the “intimidating/unapproachable” side, he likes that you’re just so attractive and confident in yourself it makes him nervous and he just falls in love you over and over again 🤭

and he’s so good in bed… like best eater right here !! actually cares about your pleasure and always takes care of you first. wants to fuck all the time too, like he doesn’t care where y’all are he just needs a little something to get him through the day especially when you just look so good all the time.

sohee and the bad bitch he pulled just by being a silly guy… fav trope right there

[baekgufiles]

loading . . .

pairing: p.sunghoon x fem!reader genre: high school!au | fluff w. count: 1.06k warnings: mentions of past bullying, mentions of food sypnosis: sunghoon has a crush on you and tries to pick up your interests to approach you.

book lovers !

— Are you… reading?

It was a new sight, for sure.

— Like actually reading that whole thing?— Jake carried the previous question.

— You know, I’m not that stupid. I can read a damn book once in a while— Sunghoon answered, putting down the novel.

— Don’t wanna let you down, but it’s the first time I’ve seen you reading by your own will in the last three years— Jay commented.

— Well, there’s a first time for everything, don’t you think?— he burried his face into the pages.

The truth is, Park Sunghoon didn’t enjoy reading. He was much more of an active person; his hobbies always had something to do with sports. Even on his laziest days, he would go out for a coffee or, worst case scenario, watch an action movie.

And the truth also is that Park Sunghoon always thought he would never be caught dead with a book on him. That was until he met you.

There hadn’t been a day on the whole year where you hadn’t brought a novel with you. Getting immersed in some passionate story and forgetting about the world around you was an everyday activity. A fire could be burning the whole school to the bedrock unbeknownst to you.

On the other hand, you could never go unnoticed. At least not by him. Sunghoon loved to watch your little unintentional reactions, your eyes quickly skipping words through the pages. He loved how your slightly too long hair got in the way, falling in front of your vision. And he loved how every time you’d blowed it, annoyed; yet the next day you would never had cut it.

Sunghoon didn’t like reading, but he couldn’t go a day without reading you. So, when he eavesdropped you recommending some book to one of your classmates with the tagline of ‘your favorite’ he knew that was his one chance.

— Hey, y/n!— his grip on the book cover became heavier at Jake’s voice—. You’ve got yourself a bookworm friend now!

— Yeah, Sunghoon suddenly has decided to pick up reading— Jay added, palming his seatmate’s back, as he added with sarcastic tone—, I wonder why.

— Guys, I’m tired of explaining that I’m not becoming besties with anyone just because they’re reading a b- Wait, you’re reading Little Women?— she interrupted herself.

Sunghoon slowly lowered the volume, finally facing you— Y-yes. It’s a nice book— his voice trembled a bit, but he managed to make himself understandable. Jay looked away, hiding a teasing smile; whereas Jake straight up caughed to hide his laughter.

— Yeah, it really is. Just… quite unexpected choice coming from you, I think— she talked, picking her words carefully.

— Well, it’s not my usual choice, but I truly like it. Also, Jo is such a good written character— his eyes caught the shimmer growing into your gaze.

— I know, right? She knew what she wanted all along, I kinda envy her. I’ve always related the most to Amy— a smile out of excitement crawled into her face.

Sunghoon was about to carry the conversation, but the teacher walked through the classroom door, announcing the end of the recess. He had never hated school more. You walked to your seat and he was left alone with Jay, Jake and their mockery.

Just when he was about to ignore everything and just sleep through the lecture, a neatly folded paper reached his desk. Kind of confused, he opened it, facing a hurried handwriting which readed “we can continue our chat after classes if you want to :)”

He raised his head in a rush, meeting your eyes in an instant before nodding enthusiastically.

— I can’t believed you really just got a date. By picking up a book? How did you do that?— Jake protested on your way out of high school.

— He has been whipped for long enough— Jay stated—. You just straight up flirt with the first girl that crossed your way.

— I’m sorry mister “I have a girlfriend”, not everyone’s got your luck— Jake bickered back.

— Can you guys calm down? I’m already plenty of nervous— Sunghoon interfered.

— You got this, don’t panic— Jay tranquilized him—. It’s just a girl, what could possibly happened?

Flash forward, Sunghoon and you just ordered coffee and two pieces of tiramisu at a little and quiet cafe near by.

The silence wasn’t totally uncomfortable, but you truly wanted to know more about your classmate, so you broke it— I didn’t know you were into reading?— you showed how you weren’t totally sure about the statement.

— Yeah, well… This was more of a first time for me— he instantly panicked, realizing what he just announced—. I mean, obviously this isn’t the first book I’ve ever read. I’ve read plenty of books before, you know? At least, plenty in my opinion; surely for you it wouldn’t be that much since you are always reading something but-

— Sunghoon— you giggled at his lowkey scared face— it’s okay, I get it. Not everyone has a book under their nose 24/7, in any case I’m the one who’d be the odd one.

You looked away, fearing about his reaction a little. He frowned— It’s not weird at all?— your attention was brought to him again, a curious expression stamped on your face—. You know, no one calls weird the football guys, and they always have a ball on them. Also for lots of them, that’s like their one and only interest and again, no one’s ever weirded out about it.

— I guess you are right— you hummed, quickly agreeing with him. You never before had the chance to chat alone with Sunghoon, but for some reason he just emanate comfort. You stirred your drink, absently—. I guess this doesn’t come as a surprise, but I used to get laughed out for just read all the time instead of actually speaking with other kids.

He lightly smiled— Believe it or not, I went through a similar phase too. Just omitting the reading thingy— he clarified, making you chuckled—. What I mean is, now I have really good friends, but it wasn’t always like that.

— We might have more in common that what I expected— you spoke, sipping your coffee—. Turns out you didn’t have to fake your interests for us to get along.

He felt the blood rushing up to his ears, face reddening on the way, as you happily chuckled.

@ baekgufiles 2024

[strawberrychainsawz]

Douma's ideal human type in a partner

I was inspired by a post I saw on here so let's try! These are just things I think are my headcanons

• Since he cannot feel emotions, I think he'd want a very cheerful type of person who feels all sorts of emotions very deeply. It would fascinate him how much joy you found in the littlest most normal things. He likes how happy you are to see him, he thinks it's cute when you're aggravated by him. He likes how relaxed and calm you get from hearing the rain outside. All the things he cannot feel himself he'd try to feel through another person maybe. He very aware of his ability to not feel emotions and I think deep down it does bother him. Maybe you'd be able to help him feel something.

•A sense of humor. He's definitely the most funny out of all the uppermoons and he's more than likely going to being saying silly things. If he made a joke and you didn't laugh he'd probably just look at you blank faced and then start pouting.

"Waaaa you don't like my joke?? I'm not funny? You're such a meanie"

But if you did have a good sense of humor, he'd enjoy seeing your face lit up with laughter. Uh ohhh is mr.no emotions maybe starting to FEEL SOMETHING?

• a good listener. The man has spent his whole life, even at a young age having to listen to people's woes and worries. He'd like for someone to actually ask how HE is doing. And once you get him talking, I don't think he'd stop. He'd want to lay his head in your lap as he talks about his day but he also wants to hear you talk. You are his favorite afterall.

• good with children. I think this applies because of his own messed up childhood. Let's say maybe at his temple he saw you caring for some of the other women's children there, making them little flower crowns. It would be kinda bittersweet. Making him think "I wish at least one person was kind to me as a child like that"

• look wise? I think he'd want someone who is definitely beautiful but in a unique kinda way that stood out. Maybe one of your eyes is a different color. Maybe your hair color is a wild color you don't really see everyday. He was told his whole life he could hear the voice of God's because of his hair color and eye color so I'd feel like he would want to make sure, because of your unique presence that you're beautiful just because you are. Not for the benefits for satisfying others people. (Maybe for him though) 👁👁

• he'd want someone submissive but also not afraid to be dominant with him either. I could imagine him pinning you down and finding your whimpers sound like sweet music to him. But I could also imagine him letting a partner dominate him. He's so strong, maybe he'd be curious to feel like the prey for once in his life. Maybe he would like for YOU to pin him down and make him feel vulnerable.

• I think he would find clumsiness cute. Imagine you and him taking a stroll at night, you fall, scrape a knee. He'd tease you so bad about it.

"Look where you're going!!" "Goodness my love, as he says putting a bandage on your scrape, such a clutz. What would you without me, hmm?? Aren't you happy I came to your rescue? All smug like. *kisses your knee after fixing it up"

• I think he'd like someone who isn't very experienced in bed so a very innocent minded type of person. Once he got you in bed, he'd be gentle and not to hurt you. But after a while he'd be wanting to try all sorts of things and positions. Maybe he picked out a shiny cute collar and leash for you to put on. Maybe he wants you to put it on HIM.

• You'd have to be understanding that he is a demon and has to eat people. But out of kindness because you know he's such a NICE GUY maybe he'd eat his meals elsewhere.

• a very dotting personality. Like I said before he's spent his whole life having to listen to other people, he'd want you to be very affectionate with him. Maybe Akaza hurt his "feelings" and wants you to cuddle him and play with his hair as he whines about Akaza being so cold to him.

• I remember reading somewhere before he was a demon he enjoyed dancing and drinking sake. Since he can't drink sake anymore he takes baths in it for his skin.

He would love to dance with you to music. Since you're an innocent minded person maybe you've never tasted sake before. He'd love to see your expression to trying it. It might make him remember one of the things he loved when he was a human. If you didn't like the sake and immediately made a face when trying it, He'd find that adorable.

[angelismmm]

Hiii! Can I pretty please req Kokomi, Noelle, Ayaka and Hu Tao with an affectionate reader?

⟢ care to be mine? oh you already are?! ft. noelle, kokomi, ayaka, & hutao! ・sypnosis. how about we go out together, and you'll be mine, and i'll be yours! oh i already know we're together, i like falling in love with you over and over again! ・notes. WOOOO GENSHIN WOMEN!!! im so happy to see this request ngl nsjsdsdsd, anyw thanks for giving me this req!!! ・warnings. fluffy, overly affectionate reader if that counts, implied relationship between character & reader

THE 77TH FUNERAL DIRECTOR: HU TAO ・YEAHHH SOMEONE MATCHES HER ENERGY!!! definitely whenever she sees you while going on a stroll around town, will open her arms for you to run into to her while tryna hug her back, if you would she loves to give piggyback rides to you too. loves you so much, and so does she!! probably would also run around town in both your free time to prank people, and every successful prank would be one kiss, from the one and only you!! she wants you to be there to see it too!!

・accepts your affection with wide arms, even with you draped around her shoulders, your head resting on hers while she does work is her favorite!! kinda makes her know she's safe, because you're there with her. just know your boundaries, and when is the right time and she'll do the same, loves every bit of your affection, lets her know that at least someone enjoys her little pranks hehe. her being in your warmth is enough to make a bad day go well. you being there to cheer her on is enough to make her face light up, at first the affection was so unexpected, but she was so up for the idea. doesn't care if other people see you and her do all that pda stuff, just lets everyone know your affection is hers. ・probably adopts a cat that you've been feeding everyday near your shared home, absolutey loves it with you, like parents to the cat. names it her favorite dish. always notices when your mood changes to something a bit negative, and that's a go signal for her to be overly affectionate this time!! loves making you smile, then loves it when you hug her in return. kiss her forehead whenever you guys cuddle!! definitely loves it, would try to hide her face away from you so that you wouldn't see the millions of shades in red covering her face. ・probably loves words of affirmation, and acts of service, getting told she's annoying for her pranks isn't exactly a good feeling. but the things you do for her, and the things you do to her, all the praise you give while she's done nothing to deserve it, all the hugs, kisses, and love you give, and she still feels like she has to do more, but assure her that she shouldn't because all you want is her, she'll fall 100% ・the way you got introduced to zhongli was you chasing hu tao around for a kiss probably. then you bump into him, and hu tao comes running at you both, again. and introduces you both, and zhongli is slightly surprised she has a significant other, but is like a proud dad. while you both are rambling to each other like a lovey dovey couple, and he third wheels, he thinks you both fit each other like a jigsaw puzzle, because there should always be someone to love you, even if the rest of the world hates you.

probably would make fun of you whenever you say something cheesy, "for all that it's worth, i'm glad i met you." you'd say while looking up to the setting sun in the distance, "no you aren't." she teases, looking back at you, smiling, "yeah, you're right, i have dreams of you stapling your fingers to your face." "ew!! stop saying that!!"

THE DIVINE PRIESTESS: SANGONOMIYA KOKOMI ・dream come true to her, probably liked you as soon as you both met, probably sun and moon relationship. she's a bit of both, but she likes it better when you do all the talking, and she does the listening. after somewhat a long period of time that kokomi's been gone, obviously you'd miss her, and she'd miss you. but whenever those long missions finally finish, she loves the feeling when as soon ass you see her, you come running with your arms open just to hug her ・loves mostly anything and everything about you / anything you're willing to give, aka your affection. probably loves whenever you become cheesy with her, makes her flustered.

"Hey I have a day off tomorrow, wanna do anything special?" Kokomi asks, getting up her chair to face you with a bright smile painted on her face, "I just wanna be in your arms, in your presence, anywhere you go, I just wanna be with you." You said, noticing the small tint of rose on her cheeks, "Well, anywhere is alright, just make sure you enjoy yourself there. Your happiness is mine." The eye contact between the both of you, the grin spread across from ear to ear on your face, made her really flustered, "O-okay! I have to go get something really quick, so just wait here and we can talk about where we'll go!" Walking out the room, Kokomi put her head in her hands, she definitely knows you'll treat her right

・whenever she's down, whenever she's failed in something, whenever she feels like she isn't worth anything, and you aren't with her, her mind wanders to all those memories of your smile, and imagines your warm embrace around her, because she knows you mean every word you say, whenever you compliment her, she knows she's at least worth something to someone, always wants to keep you close after those moments. ・matching clothes with her!! like her whole wardrobe got to be matching with yours. loves it whenever you remember the little things about her, like her favorite dish, or what kind of movies she prefers, her spotify playlist on save, or even the flowers she prefers. overthinks a bunch, the question of you both never meeting always comes to mind, but you were a friend of gorou's that just happened to be able to help with a certain mission. ・surprise date nights for those days she's off, but has got off those depressing shifts at work, and the impossible amount of paperwork really just set her off, she wasn't as happy as she was before,

"How about you just follow me okay?" her hand in yours, running towards somewhere, "Okay, but why did you make me dress up?!" her screaming from behind as you led her out to a small table with 2 chairs, decorated with white lilies, kind of like a little cottage in the wild, where no one else would disturb you both. her favorite food set out on the table, along with your own favorite, "Alright, you can open your eyes!" As you let go of her hand, the light reflected off her skin, the vine-decorated ivy cottage right before her eyes, a hopeful gaze looks back to you, "is this.. for me?"

・thanks gorou so many times for introducing the sunshine in her life to help brighten her mood. and thanks the archons that she met such ethereal beauty, and kindness in person in her life, every night, she looks up, and closes her eyes, thanking the people who got her here today, and praises the archons for letting her meet you.

SHIRASAGI HIMEGIMI: KAMISATO AYAKA ・first found you running around with yoimiya plus some children. lighting those little fireworks on a stick at night, and carrying them home once they've fallen asleep, their parents are just real busy people, you and yoimiya had decided to babysit while they were out, for free, and no pay. ayaka was free that day, and made the best decision of wanting to hangout with yoimiya, and to get to know who this wildly attractive person is. ・finds out your name while you blurt lots of stuff out while talking to yoimiya, walking through inazuma with ayaka between you and yoi, looking at what's new, and what you can afford. and what really made her fall is when you asked if she wanted anything, clearly looking hungry, and her answering that she's fine and she doesn't really know what she wanted to order if she was, and you ordered all kinds of dishes and let her try, thought you were really nice about it, especially how you were a little short on money, yet you were more than willing to spend every last dime on her, even if you both just met. ・once you both finally date, yoimiya is more than welcome to be your guys' third wheel on dates, in fact always has been even before you both got together.

"You know, before I asked you out, I asked Ayato & Yoimiya's permission." You said holding her hand and grinning at her, "She did! Was very happy to say yes!!" Yoimiya interrupted, hugging both of you from behind, "And I promised to always be your third wheel when I could!" Laughing your hearts off, Ayaka loved seeing you smile, it made her smile too.

・"You're gonna get hurt!" x "At least I'll have fun!" definitely, kiss attacks on her face once she comes back from somewhere, doesn't do a lot of pda though, will keep your relationship a secret 'till she's ready, she still has a reputation to keep yk? she doesn't mean that in a bad way or anything she just wants to keep you safe, letting enemies know you're her weak spot. doesn't want anything happening to the best thing in her life. ・"you're all i ever want" x "flustered*" purely, lowkey scared of how much affection you give her, it makes her super happy, but scared, scared to accept it, she hasn't opened her heart up to anyone before, but you were very willing to give everything to her, right after meeting her. the way you remember those little details about her make her blush hard. even the first day you met, the meals she liked, anything and everything you mostly knew about her, and she would she could do the same, obviously the standard things about you she remembers, even the little grin you do when you get her blushy with one cheesy pickup line, but all the little details you've observed from just being with her for a short period of time makes her even more thankful to the archons, every night, every day, whenever she can she'll be with you, she'll be in the embrace of you arms.

THE MAID OF THE KNIGHTS OF FAVONIUS: NOELLE ・the sweetest at trying to confess her feelings to you. catches them while you were helping lisa with the books in the library, right after taking them back from late clients. she was skimming through books on how to get stronger, and her eyes wandering off the book, looking up to see the most beautiful person to ever set earth, while watching you turn around to reveal your most luxurious face, to see you both made a bit of eye contact, she ducks down behind her book again. ・once you finally go, she'll come up to lisa with all the books in her hands,

"hey ms. lisa? can i ask who that was?" noelle turns a bit shyly, while slamming the books back on the desk owned by lisa. "oh? are you saying you're interested in them?" lisa smirks, and putting the books below her rounded desk again, "i- no i mean-! that isn't what i meant! i just wanted to... get to know their name, they seem interesting! that's all!" stuttering all over the place, tint of ruby all over her face. "their name is y/n. they live pretty close to here, and in the library often, they help me and jean quite recently, and they've helped a lot, they thought you were pretty cute too, you know." lisa said, getting up and giving noelle her library pass back, sliding it across the desk, "t-thank you.." taking it back, and getting out of the library as fast as she could, at least she knew your name now.

・probably take shifts near your home while patrolling around mondstadt. one time, and the time she finally found out her feeling for you were romantic; she was lowkey getting harassed by a drunk adventurer, who seemed to just get out the tavern, having 1 too many drinks. you immediately coming to defend her, pulling out your weapon, "get lost, weirdo, she doesn't like you." you said trying to escort noelle out of the situation, "oh but i think she does.. she's blushing, and it's all because of me, alright? you should get lost, because we were having a moment here. i'm an adventurer, hic-! don't intimidate me!!" he screams, "anyways sweetheart, come on.. you just accepted me asking you out, let's go-" slapping his arm harshly off her waist, "dude can't you see she's mad uncomfortable?! she doesn't want you around her! so get the hell out of here!" the shiny vision hung around your waist was already making him cower. "damn alright.. jeez, see you around, sweetheart." the creep walks away, "you hurt or anything? your name is noelle right?" you ask, while checking if the man did anything bad to her while she wasn't in your sights, "i-i'm alright! how do you know my name, if i may ask?" she asks, pushing her hair behind her ear, "i'm y/n, and i asked lisa, you shouldn't worry." ・she confessed through your similar interests in books, a library date, she asked you out through letters, heartfelt words were spilt onto the paper. the way you give her everything you can in terms of affection makes her feel safe, the way you defend her makes her feel like she can trust you all the much more. falls in love over and over again when receiving your bear hugs, feeling your hands wrap around her feels like she's the luckiest woman in the world. when your soft lips hits her cheek, she will melt in your arms. every kind of love you give her makes her blush all the time. ・your small smile after your lips and hers crash makes her wanna smile too, your small kisses on the forehead made her become a tomato, your kisses printed on her neck send shivers down her spine, your affection makes her feel wanted and valid. she always wanted to feel wanted, she wants her feelings to be valid, your affection makes her feel 100 different emotions, loves everything you do, supports everything you do, pretty okay with pda, just blushes madly whenever it happens. ・"quiet & shy" x "affectionate & extroverted social butterfly"

[mochilovesbuffmen]

Bucchigiri?! x Reader

Some silly hcs when you're his s/o

Part Two w Outa and Matakara<3

Reader is GN!

Shindo

✓ I actually imagine you were a freshman at the school when you met Shindo ✓ you only knew him from afar since back then he liked to keep to himself, always shy and quiet around everyone ✓ things changed when you joined Minato Kai ✓ you were training with the other members when Ken came around with a new member ✓ you instantly recognized Shindo ✓ making your move on getting to know him you two spend a lot of time together (you constantly pestered him) ✓ he slowly opened up to you and you helped him woth becoming stronger as well ✓ when the incident happened where he got banned from Minato Kai you two lost contact even though you tried to find him again ✓ a while later Shindo showed up before you one day, completely changed ✓ explained his plans to you bc you still have a special place in his heart ✓ you tried to warn Ken but it was already too late when the fight started ✓ after the fight (and Shindo getting his ahh handed to him) he surprisingly stuck around you ✓ but not in a nice way, that mf was everywhere you went (or you swore it was a curse and you were the one constantly running into him) ✓ you knew everything that was happening with Senya and Ichiya because Shindo doesn't keep his voice down while ranting about them every chance he gets ✓ from then on you two were a duo (unintentionally)

Arajin

✓ plssss the only way you'd (hopefully) ever fall for this guy is when you knew him before ✓ like you were chilling with Matakara and Arajin everyday when you were kids ✓ watched them train to become Honki people omg ✓ but that day young Matakara got beat up by this group of kids you weren't around because of a family emergency ✓ you only ever heard Matakaras side of story of why he suddendly moved without saying goodbyes ✓ you two missed him everyday from them on but you had quiet a lot on your hands with rebel Matakara anyways (can't blame ya) ✓ when Arajin moved back and joined your school you were actually ecstatic ✓ you finally had your childhood crush Back after all ✓ Arajins eyes lit up for a bit and you could see a blush on his cheeks when he saw you for the first time when you went to greet him ✓ his happiness quickly dropped tho and he was acting cold towards you, kinda like he's hella uncomfy in your presence (Zabu wanted to beat shrimps ahh everytime he saw you sad bc Arajin ignored you again ✓ and this is how it went ✓ with you (and Matakara) trying to talk to him but he blocked you both out help ✓ you never thought you'd actually be jealous of Mahoro out of all people srs ✓ "I need to find my darling husband. I'm so worried about him." "Honestly, what do you see in that guy?" "He makes me laugh." -Y'alls energy ✓ anyways, i believe you two come together after the whole ideal with Matakara and Ichiya is done. ✓ you were the first one there to hug him&taking care of him and the way he finally seemed to care about you and Matakara made you happy ✓ you have the old Arajin finally back ✓ he still tried to ask Mahoro out w the stone and she rejected (obv) you swooped in and offered him to go on a date. ✓ with no guilt haunting him he was able to see you as you and man was SMITTEN ✓ have fun with a sweaty and awkward diarrhea bomb crushing on you ✓ tbh prepare for him to stare and be interested in other women too (if you can't beat em join em and now you both look at women you find pretty but You're much more smooth with it) ✓ will gift you your personal carved stone with yours and his initials <3 ✓ wear his shirts plsssss he loves it sm ✓ he can COOK and this WELL! Definetly would spoil you with food ✓ he hates fighting but still will protect you (as much as he could) ✓ pls hit him when he tries those cringy romantic shit on you ✓ oh also his momma would absolutely ADORE YOU

KOMAO

✓ HES MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE ✓such a sweetheart omg ✓ BUT he'll tease the shit outta you if you give him the opportunity ✓ he's so clingy and touchy so expect him to randomly hug you or hold onto you ✓ PIGGY BACK RIDES!!! Both ways! Prefers if you carry him and he'll compliment you sm💞 ✓ prolly has really funny pet names for you too ✓ he straight up asked you out a few days after meeting you ✓ is not above pestering you until you say yes anyways ✓ absolutely loves it when you hold his face in your hands ✓ greeting him every morning means running towards each other and him spinning you (or you him, it can go both ways) ✓ lots of holding hands and hugging to the point Zabu groans loudly out of